A New Hope.

Even when things are frustration central, it is easy to lose focus.. i have decided that it is time to change strategy a little and instead of remaining complacent i am going to out to seek new Life and new oppurtuinitys... yeah i know.. i should use the star trek trailer today but the lego pics fits my mood and the new clear feeling i am having about moving on from a hopeless exsistense which i currently mired under. as owen hart once said... enoughs enough and it's time for a change... enough of the shit hitting the fan and the angry me hitting the wall. frustraions need to come to a close... too many things are bothering me right now.. i had a complicated enough life before.. i do not need a half million hanger's on and added political problems, this isn't what i went to to school for.. this isn't what i chose... there has to be something better out there... i am not going to make another descion out of desperation agian. the next time i make a decision like this i am going to give it some careful thought, i don't want to be old and bitter, and frustrated for the rest of my life.

Current Mood: Still Frustrated but spent afternoon Job searching so I am Hopeful.

Don't Trust Anyone.

i am getting so sick of the current mood. if i wanted to be backstabbed and deal with bullshit i knew exactly where to look. I made a big sacrifice and it seems the minute thati get a little bit comfortable with something other forces within use jealousy and bullshit to take it away from me.. i'm still looking forward but i think it's time to make some lifestyle changes and do whats right for me... i'm sick of being a bleeding heart and caring about other people.. god knows that the only one looking out for me is me... i honestly don't think i can no longer give a damn with the situation i'm in.. and that's not healthy or good for my mental health, some people just don't understand what i'm going thru either... i think they think i should just man up and take it like a good little soilder, sometimes i think that they are right, and sometime i think that they have no clue what i am going thru, this is not what i signed on for... when a freind asked me why i was wasn't working in a group home i think that was the first clue that the current situation was a downward spiral... i'm not sure of where i will be past xmas... i am hoping not there. things change.. so should I.

Current mood: Frustration.