Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

another year.. more bullshit... wow.. quitting smoking is so hard.. i quit last week haven't had one since tuesday. guess i should go get drunk and be an asshole. like watching insane idiots go in the out door. shopping in welland is gonna end up being a surprise soon. toronto, windsor and harrow. fuck boxing day too.,.. ( did this make any sense or is it just some cryptic bullshit i just farted out of my mind?) "brainfart"

I have officially decided i fucking hate Christmas.

lost and pissed off.. nice to see another year end and have less of a fucking clue where i was going than last year... mexico's nice this time of year.... Current Mood: Unknown Current Music: Iron Maiden, Back In the Village.

moving on... next step finish these exams see legal aid... whatever.. maybe i should just go across that border and hope a train to mexico. Current Mood: confused Current Music: Something for the Pain Current Album: Bon Jovi (These Days)

delete. delete. delete. merry fucking xmas, bah humbug you cold hearted bitch. hate's to good a word to describe you.

methinks you doth protest too fucking much.... god is dead... morning coffee is nice but i'll settle for hot chocolate at home first thing in the morning. you actually bother to put a picture in a frame? i protest the fact that your an idiot.... hopefully you will get a concert and he wails... nice to see you're still self centered and only concered about yourself instead of that which is truly important. Current Mood: angry but determined Current Music: Poor Twisted Me, Metallica.

starting to wonder about a bunch of shit... where when how why... at least i know whatever the sum of my parts is i'm still a better person always than the other. Current Music:anesthia, pulling teeth metallica

i think the livejournal is her acting out and a lure for me to play knight in shining armor........except i'm the black knight... i'd rather lop off her head.

book me a room at the insane asylum... i'm gone... no one's home anymore... i'm cuckkoo.... arkham's nice this time of year isn't it? be nice to have three squares and a rubber room.... nice to how everything is cynical and cylindrical: i present to you, The Ballad of Dwight Fry.... made sense at 14, makes sense now... wonder why..... Mommy, where's Daddy?He's been gone for so longDo you think he'll ever come home? See my lonely life unfoldI see it everydaySee my lonely mind explodeWhen I've gone insane

bored... might as well update... drowning in homework.. can't wait for this university shit to be done... trust no one. Current Music: anti-social, Anthrax

i have a little shadow.... he looks just like me.. i like being led by the hand.... he's so buitifull.. miss him already.

i'm so happy right now... some times all it takes is patience to deal with things. things are looking up in other ways. future is coming together nicely finally making some plans for me.. not for others. there's a girl i like.. won't name names but it's not the Bytch.... todays a good day... if you haven't noticed i get to see the peice of my soul i'm missing very very soon.... i'll let you know how it goes. now playing: killing me softly , refugees

it's time for a rebellion.. this country needs a wakeup call.. let's change things.. lets not sit around and justify the elite which you unfourtuantly seem to not realize you are a part of. why you and I can never be... you seem to think you're a have not... you may be my opposite half.. but that doesn't mean mirror image.. it means everything good in me is reflected in you as darkness and vice versa. no wonder we can't get along... esp. when you hide behind illusion. i would never lie to you.. much easier to stick my finger in your face. Now Playing: 99 ways to die, megadeth

kill.. fuck.. smash.. destroy.. so fucking pissed off right now.. must be fucking nice you can go out drinking and be a slut... and grandma babysits... now i know.. i'm totally fucking sure... you're a cold heartless bitch.... why do i keep fighting why do i care... i should cut you away like a bad blister on my ass. too bad there's something more important than you involved... to you i say fuck off... to him i'm missing him more than ever. now playing: ruby tuesday, rolling stones.

hurt's like hell... did i mention we are going back to court because no x-mas visit?

wow.. can you lie anymore? you've made a habit of backstabbing people forever... of course then agian... i don't count... i'm only the father of our son... it's not like you've spent five years stabbing me in the back.

wow.. doesn't take much to set me off does it.. thanks for impliening what you did... it's not like i would ever do that.. but of course you think so.... days like today make me so angry.. i mean i'm trying so hard.. it's not worth it anymore. i quit.

i am coming to the realization that i don't belong in windsor... finish up this year and school and get out... i've been gone so long that i couldn't even tell you where home is anymore. is it hamilton or niagra.. not sure.. i know where i'm going... guess you'll have to find out later... just feel so out of place here... it's ghetto... stifiled. nothing to do here... same thing every day school homework movie ..... my life is getting very monotounous. at least before this semseter i always had something going on with my life but i've managed to pretty much alienate everyone and everything because of concerns elsewhere. there's always my weekends but i just don't seem to have time for anyone anymore... guess thats appro... i'm getting older.. there's only one person in this world that deserves my undivided attention.. i know my freinds are.. they'll understand... and if they don't fuck em.

halloween fast approaching... interesting life lately... actually have money but haven't bothered spending any of it lately... think it has something to do with being responsible... can't act like a twelve year old anymore... not to mention i don't want to move more crap... speaking of which anyone want some vhs videos? i should put up a list here or somewhere... i think it's time to buy some shave gel... the beard is starting to get heavy.. gonna keep the goatee tho.... says something about indepence.. dammit.. i really need to learn how to spel... i went to unimaversity for my edumaction.

i'm kinda lost when it comes to english. it's not my strongest subject.. never was in high school and i've advoided it like the plaugue in post secondary college and university. kinda funny seeing how the mother of my son teaches english at the highschool level but ah well. what wopuld i like to learn in this course? how to refine my skills. if i can use my essays and paper's to get a better job or something slightly diffrent job than the one i'm trained for but still in my sector i think that would be really cool. i have a contact at the children's advocate in toronto and they need a portfolio so i may end up doing a professional looking portfolio for them.. might as well do it now before i ger to frustrated in looking for a job while trying to raise my son on weekends right?

my first post.. might as well do what i'm good at... poetry. we all make our own truths sometimes we have to deal with misplaced reality, sometime we dont want to hear the words being said. are you still angry, cuz i can't see the line's of hope drawn in yer face. are you still angry, cuz i can't see the line's of hope drawn in yer face. A Reflection of Me ------------------ fall down, dont get up, best place for you to be a lost child, do i scare you?a reflection of me growing inside u, i am dead inside, i bet you know how that feels, what was taken from us was nothing, what was taken from us was something,lacerated sky,what was taken from us was hope, we continue our lives and try to forget, i see you ina mirror every morning, apiece of my soul, a part of my past, a reflection of me, do u see the same thing too? -end this bridge, this dream this music, this scene only one thing missing it seems, hold it tight as it fades in my hands, keep moving ,keep booting, i c