Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

still not overly impressed but the job is getting easier and i'm learning how the fucking place works, got to do some diffrent things today... a little worried about security there tho... there are issues that have nothing to do with my worth ethic... wasn't aware that it was subsidized until after i got hired... kinda pissed off at some people for not clarifying that.. obvious i'm still looking for real work... i need a job that makes more money and i really want out of St. Catherines, Thorold ain't so fucking bad but i still want out... there's other places i could be working and be happier... as it is right now i've been there two days and other than my weekends my fucking job is my entire life... thats fucking sad, pathetic actually... but whatever... it's a placeholder until something else comes around... at least now i'll have $$$ for beer. Current Mood: Annoyed. Current Music: Rock Bottom, Eminem.

not overly impressed.... but i'm going back tommorow... money's money and it gets the delusional monkey off my back... so much for my new airwalks tho... note to self... do not wear brand new white airwalks to a shitty dirty warehouse... Ruined... :-(... guess there work shoes now. Current mood: what the fuck do you think, I'm exhuasted. Current Music: City of Angels,The Distillers

interesting interview today, hopefully i get this job. it's a block away from my house, and anything at this fucking point will do, bills to pay and responsobilities, things are looking up.. should get interesting the next few weeks and the hours look good. Current Mood: Upbeat. Current Music: Revelation (Mother Earth), Ozzy

had a good weekend, moody a little last night tho. things are changing that is evident and obvious... attitudes, feelings, and everything else. kinda hard to be a brick wall when you're tired as hell. but the cold war continues... no more games... just leave things as they are... let the small battles be fought and let her pretend to think she's won. went on a nature hike out to the canal yesterday, that was interesting... got my ass fuckin lost. at least i somewhat knew where i was... it was kinda cool to go out and see the big water... will have to go out fishing out there this summer... should have the time too... looks like i might get this job across the street in thorold... tell me.. how much would that fuckin rock? i'm comfortable here, small problems aside this place is starting to feel like home... maybe one day someone else will wake up and relize that fact too... too bad it'll be too late. wish me luck. Current Mood: Optomistic. Current Music: Holy Diver, Dio

i am going fucking insane... the delusional bitterness is getting to me... imaginary scenarios that would never happen... this city is dragging me down... i need to find somewhere else to be. Current Mood: Exhausted.

hopefully next week will be better, this week sucked. starting to evulate things on a higher level. realizing that some of the games being played aren't my fault. Current Mood: Angry Current Music: Out ta get me, GNR.

you've proven time and time agian you are fucking untrustworthy go figure... you have to be the worlds biggest fgucking loser.... i forgot your a spoiled little rich princess... welcome back to reality... it's gonna hit and hard.... no more mr. nice guy, in fact more anything, quuit dreaming, you have now engendered a brand of hate that will never ever go a-fucking-way. have a nice day, rot in hell. Current Mood: Fucking Hostile.

fucking cunts are all out there..... never do anything nice for anyone because it will fuciing end up stabbing you in the back... i could have been a fucking asshole and said no... in fact i should have... you my dear are a fucking cunt... i hope the new ugly boyfreind is the worst one you've ever had. you're a fucking controlling pyschotic. i hope you rot in hell, one day you will be exposed for the cruel fucking person you have become. go Fuck yourself. current mood: I'm a shiny happy person, Not. Current Music: The Angry Voices in my head aka No music for you.

things are improving...... hopefully by the end of the month this kaliedescopic downward spiral of my life will change and improve... first steps towards absolution of issues began/ended today.... Current Mood: optomistic. Current Music: Running with the Devil, Van Halen.

sometimes miracles do happen... but always for a reason. hang in their big brother. Current Music: http://sadkermit.com/video.html Current Mood: relived,hopeful,Serene.