Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

so much for yesterday's angry and hostile rant, it couln't kill my good mood, there are two things in life that matter right now... my son and lego batman.... i bet you people were expecting death and taxes lol. anyways things are back to normal, did a comphrehensive job search tonight and did some reflecting and it's better to be somewhere that advances my career rather than being in a holding pattern in a place that is a shit hole and will continue to be a shithole because no one notices that somethings wrong and rules and regulations promotoe a hostile dog eat dog atmossphere... the only reason i survived is i have just dont give a fuck attitude... and that's the truth.. but onto bigger and better things. Current mood: tired, it's been a long day.

what kind of fucking assholes temrinates someone without any real excuse given, no written warning and on the holidays? esp. after said person as just worked the bulk of them unsupervised with express orders not to contact management over said holidays??Did i mention this was done over the phone? fucking goofs, i don't miss my job, i had my misgivings from the start and i am trying to retain some of the positive momentuem i had from this morning going into my day because the one thing that means anything in my life is my son and he's here.. but after the disgusting bullshit and the way i have been treated i think they are aware that i was always one shift away from quitting, and management there is a fucking joke anyways. i better get my new year stats and all of my vaca pay, i am not amused. i am mulling over more drastic action but i think i need to speak to an impartial employment person or a lawyer first, i am glad this means my weekends are back to normal, and to be total

today is an awesome day, even when yesterday went south because of work related issues and my own stupidity and another person's lack of common sense at least when push comes to shove and things get royally Fubared, people come thru for me and him. i am sorry to those people for being the grinch this week, being away from my son and having a miserable job and very little social interaction outside of work with anyone because i don't live here and anyone i am really freinds with here either has moved on or i choose to associate with them only a specific times. sometimes you have to take a step back from the anger and your own misplaced emotions to relaize you aren't the only person out there, i was hurting and i lashed out and it was wrong. that being said, ther eis a good chance i'm moving back to brantford now and it makes sense since the stupidity's of yesterdays commute, esp. if i can get this apt. i want in west brant, but obviously i need to deal with some of t

god i hate asshole landlandy whose understanding of the english language is a joke, much less the lanlord and tenant act.. fucking cunt demands july 30th at midnight when the paperwork reads until july 1st.. dumb fucking cunt... i'm busy packing and having a beer with a freind after a long day and renting my new apartment.. you dont have to make a fucking scene at 230 am outside of your house in our neighboor yellig and screaming at me... i'm not a total idiot i do understand some of the language. i will be so fucking glad to be moved and it's a good thing i have respct and morals and my job or the bottle of southern comfort i was busy throwing up across the road at 4 am would have landed in a front door window... but i'm not like that anymore... but come july 1st fuck you, fuck off and good riddance. Current mood: Pissed off and tired of this bullshit. Current Music: Fire, Fire... Rammstein

god i hate asshole landlandy whose understanding of the english language is a joke, much less the lanlord and tenant act.. fucking cunt demands july 30th at midnight when the paperwork reads until july 1st.. dumb fucking cunt... i'm busy packing and having a beer with a freind after a long day and renting my new apartment.. you dont have to make a fucking scene at 230 am outside of your house in our neighboor yellig and screaming at me... i'm not a total idiot i do understand some of the language. i will be so fucking glad to be moved and it's a good thing i have respct and morals and my job or the bottle of southern comfort i was busy throwing up across the road at 4 am would have landed in a front door window... but i'm not like that anymore... but come july 1st fuck you, fuck off and good riddance. Current mood: Pissed off and tired of this bullshit. Current Music: Fire, Fire... Rammstein

the week of Hell is over, time for a little slice of heaven, forget heartaches and headaches and drama and bullshit, it's time for whats important, it's amazing how one little voice can make all my worries go away and give me back whatever patience i may not have had that day. Current Mood: Excited, he's coming. Current Music: No sleep till brooklyn, Beastie boys.

At least things are back to normal and the people that make my weekends miserable are the people that are agian making my life miserable. of course it doesn't help when people have attitudes and are late and/or are just complete assholes, but then agian, i'm an asshole and proud of it.. so whatever. NO email today time to spend some Money on a phone call... pay day loan tommorow and a little light of funshine... can't wait... it's going to be a fun week hopefully, no concerns and No bullshit for a whole week. WOW! Current Mood: Positive.

..and the main portion of the holiday is over.. thankfully.. of course i've always got to wait for ebenezer's scrooge's daughter to come out on monday and decide to be miserable for yet another day of the year, it's always about the way she feels and the misery she can inflict on others, it's wonderful when you have excuses, not to mention Brantfords so wonderful with my social support system and my low paying low wage highly stressed filled desk job. 2 more days and then i'm done. a Whole week off, WOW!!! and they even pay me for a few days. BAH HUMBUG, Merry Christmas And happy New years folks. Current Mood: Lousy, better than yesterdays tho.

at least the Christmas confrontation is over, why do people always choose the holiday to air their greivances, of course, i'm about to deal another problem attitude, you'd think if you were civil i might be a little more accomadating but when you can't string together two words in a civil tone towards me and have absolutley nothing to say to me because you are with the idiot boyfreind at the mall and you expect me to be acoomadating when you have no clue about new years and refuse to speak about it? i'm expecting to see the boys in blue this week. obviously this is just another system of control to make an already miserable holiday even more miserable. Current mood: Angry.

Merry fucking HOHo... this holiday just keeps getting better, the fact i have to wait till january for a great many things does not make this holiday seem any more impressive to me, nothing like working this holiday alone. some people don't understand and want to lecture first thing in the morning about being Late for work on a day where I didn't need to be up early and doesn't understand situation about weather, holiday etc. Yes I need a car, yes it might be a good idea to move here, I don't need the lecture today. I am thinking about moving to brantford but i have responsibilitys elsewhere and there isn't much of a thin line between work and welfare right now. i don't really give two shits about this holiday, i was hoping for a happy new year but i got fucked for that too due to attitude and $$$, so fucking what.. it's not like there's anyone else in my life like a dependant that depends on me or anything. Current Mood: Pissed.

I was gonna call her the bitch that stole christmas but i'm not that cruel, it only takes a little bit of attitude and a lack of civility to turn what is supposed to be one of the happiest times of the year into a time when i'm feeling like a pile of complete shit, thanks. it's not like i'm working the bulk of the holidays for a reason so you can enjoy time with him and i ask for one day to go to the movies and hang out and you turn it into a pile of shit. Sometimes i just fucking wonder if it's another method of control, you must enjoy making me miserable.. or at the very least confused. Whatever, You're not important anymore.. AND I THINK YOU KNOW IT!!! Current Mood: Fucking shitty and i am fucking miserable, merry fucking christmas. CUrrent Music: EVERY LIE, My Darkest Days

a coffee at the end of shift at lonnies on market and a hot burger to kill a couple of hours, looking real forward to xmas now. things are a little less creative anarchy this week which is nice... soon stabilty as it comes... no expectations. Current mood: Happy

sometimes shit happens and in the midst of all the confusion one makes bad decisions. i need to start focusing on what is important in my life instead of fucking around with the small stuff... today was a total waste.. probaly going to be the same with the whole holiday. sometimes i need to take a step back and focus and lately i've been letting the anarchy that is the hallmark of my life affect my plans rather than trying to focus on the straight and narrow. Current mood: Frustrated.

sometimes if you leave things just the way that they are things change just by taking a step back. Having the time to take a breath and leave all the the troubles behind takes a few seconds of patience and isn't always the healthiest option in the heat of the moment but once things are settkled down and anaylyzed it ends up being the correct decision. Current mood: exhausted from the weekend.

Momentary happinesses aside it is time to start looking for more productive things in my life... sometimes the best things that can happen to you involve adversity. it is the patience to overcome these things that defines one as a human being and as a man. Current Mood: Null.....

I should be in a good happy mood today but i'm not, it seems that whenever i decide to act on one of the true positives in my life that things get derailied by other concerns on/or about the same day. at least i have those positives in my life when i am on a sea of confusion. little conversations with a little person can be the highlight of any day. hopefully he likes his gifts. i'm really proud of the fact that one of them is a collasal learning toy and optimus prime. Current mood: Happy cuz he's five.

the above picture describes my current emotions. i am just a ferryman escorting unwanted souls to a place where they can be warm. i am not here to save lives or make any kind of signifigant change and therefor i am starting to feel althought my once sought after skills are being wasted and my senses dulled. i shouldn't leave frustrated is hould leave with a sense of accomplishement but that hasn't been happening recently. my outlook is slowly changing over time... i am becoming even colder and bitter like Charon.. over the river Styx. Current Mood: Frustrated,Tired.