Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

Once agian not impressed by my landlord... we nearly came to blows last night about him talking shit about moving and he threatened me till i told him there was no need for that kind of talk... i'm thinking at this time it's best if i get out as soon as fucking possible... hopefully i can find something on the fucking hill as he really pissed me off last night, i am over paying him anyways and some of his advertisement were bullshit so i am ready to pack up and go anyways.. i really don't want to but then agian he should have told me he was selling the joint before I moved in... this has turned into a nightmare.. the only reason i rented it was convienet and close to work.. but go figure... welcome to Hamilton.. assholes are everywhere. Any man can have one really bad day and end up just like me. Current Mood: Pissed off

Pretty good weekend even if i'm not feeling well... not exactly impressed with my landlord and the shit hes pulling but whatever thats what i get from renting from a goddamn kid younger than me but i am going to deal.. i am going nuts from watching thomas all weekend, and playing thomas and action figures and all that good stuff.. sometimes nothing negative can take away from me the good feeling from whats most important it's nice to hear a little voice tell me yesterday it must be hard being a daddy as a job... i don't think he understands what i do for a living but i told him yes being your daddy is a fulltime job itself, but i wouldn't trade being your daddy for anything...nope nope nope. Current mood: Happy

Oskie Wee Wee Oskie Waa Waa Holy Mackinaw Tigers... Eat 'em RAW!! nothing like teaching my child that song at a game, it's too bad that Hamilton lost last night and he slept thru the second quarter but he had an awesome time and so did I and it didn't rain... it's pretty awesome... he ran up 8 rows to get stripes autograph on his stripes teddy bear and he got a blanket!! we got pictures of him with stripes and with TC!! he was very very happy to go with me he had an awesome time. Current mood: Awesome.

sometimes there is absolutley no point in looking back at what used to be when one needs to look forward to the future and be the man he is now instead of remebering the good old days and the way things used to be, cuz those days are gone...i found out who's been playing politics at work as well trying to sabotage me.. of course as much as i like my job it isn't the only priority the only prioty this weekend is the ticats and the little man...l. Current Mood: expectant.

What does it matter to ya When ya got a job to do Ya got to do it well You got to give the other fella hell there are some days in which i really like my job and things go right and i feel i am doing something in their lives.... we played baseball at the park for an hour today and it was fun. Current Mood: Happy. Current Music: Live and let Die, Guns N Roses.

One is having difficulty acknowledging the two seperate natures of my job.. one has the fact that i am being a good role model for the kids that aren't having issues and doing fun things and hanging out on the couch watching movies and other little things we do.... and then there is the part where i have to be big nasty ogre when someone is being disructive and wants to rope everyone else in the house into his negativeity.. i can't switch from being one thing to another so easikly esp. when it's been a good day.. i end up going home angry at myself for a million reasons inculding losing my temper.. and then i lose sleep... which is so healthy.. seems like everything is tied up when i leave there inside and i am supposed to go on with life and refresh for a new shift with a smile on my face and forget yesterday and it's issues... which i do... but it's frustrating to have to deal with the same issue everyday and it's always me that ends up being the bad guy... I

Celebrating my birthday today with a very special occasion... it's too bad my ex is still a cunt and i can't even see my little one thursday cuz we are back to playing wonderful games but i am strarting to consider him more than my employment... i need a break and i'm not going to kill myself or sacrifice the only true family i have for a job that is stressful.. it's time to take care of my own fucking kid not anyone elses esp. around birthdays and holiday times.. games are always played and i always rise above them like a grim reaper on a holy mission.... my patinece seems to wear thin at times but i know that i am the better person and she is just being petty and lame because it's all she can do anymore to get under my skin...of course i should be taking the little one to go see his first wrestling show tonight but it's probaly a good idea i don't.. she'd accuse me of corrupting his little mind... yeah because i watched Hulk hogan with my Dad and i tur

..and another school year begins... much is diffrent this year.. there's grade 1 to deal with and the fact that we are communicating and getting along better than we have in years.. of course there's always the looming beast of the fact it would be 9 years tommorow, of course without her and her insanity i wouldn't have my little angel man.. so whatever... pretty happy with the way things are truning out.. i'm liking the fact i am becoming less miserable at work...then agian that's a day by day thing... and there's always the fact that i know i'm a good dad.. i mean why else would i quit smoking cold turkey when my little man says to me.. daddy i don't want you to smoke anymore... i'm proud of the fact i'm on my 5th day and counting. Current Mood: Happy.

What an awesome week, saw the dustbunnies agian on the big comfy couch at ontario place, we saw a magican and he got to go on stage and be the magicans helper and i was even smart enough to get pictures, we saw the superdogs and he wants to grow up to be a superdogs trainer and Blue is going to be a superdog!!!! rides,games, splash park and food!!! he had such a wonderful time and was so well behaved even though daddy had to work a day before or so..so it was pretty awesome all week!!!! can't wait till a week today.. we might go to the western fair yay!!!!!! Current mood: Sad cuz my happy week is over.