Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

For there to be betrayal, there would have to have been trust first. It's time to leave this toy thing behind and take what I can from it over the holidays and walk away.. when I think someone has used it as an excuse to get me to leave my house so they could could leave with all their stuff and possibly some of mine.. and i'm stalled for several hours as a result... there's something fucked up in the hen house... my trust level for certain people is very low right now... it's not enough to give your word anymore in this world.. everyone... outside of blood has a reason at some point or other to stab you in the back... i've learned that...far far, too close to home.. but that is the only real thing in this world that keeps me going and the only battle i need to fight... anything else is just distraction. but steal from me, the hammer will come down. but you sir are a nothing and a nobody, just a common theif.. I have bigger things to waste my hate on, you don'

True friends stab you in the front. I am finding that it it easier to go back to being a loner and angry and solitary in my solitude than to be a good person and be around certain friends and acquaintances that are only around because of what I can do or facilitate for them, none more so than one of my current friends who has lived off my earnings for the past few months and enjoys the spoils of my work more than anyone... you would think i would know better than to trust to someone who made it clear he was only a self interested man child and what he could acquire from me... i truly fucking hate this toy game.. and now with the situation of doing someone a favor who i only fucking met thru and giving him a place to stay until he decides to stab me in the back with no notice... fuck that noise.. i don't have time for it... cut my losses, broom him the fuck out of my life. I am so close to my goals and it's time to not have people like that in my life... i should surround myse

I have now confirmed after tearing apart my entire house that someone has stolen a bunch of games and controllers and other things from me, the more upsetting part isn't that my games are missing, I've been thru that.... the thing that pisses me off is that someone has gone thru my secret hideaway places and stolen the games i had hidden away as gifts for my son, been thru this once, but at least that time i had finger's i could I point... at this point in my life there are two ways to protect myself and the things that only belong to me that i have worked hard for.. it's time to cut some of these fucking elements from my fucking life... I'm not about to have things constantly stolen from me and my little boy... for my crap i can at least go digital.... and keep serial numbers of any electronics, but it's getting harder and harder to know who i want around and who to trust... I'm pretty sure i know exactly who is doing so but i can't prove it. it's t

It is time for me to walk the abyss. Time to reclaim my own. I am buried under this shit and i hate it.. i am trying to downsize and get rid of it all but it is very frustrating when one hand i am getting told to fuck off on going to a toy show and on the other hand things are going missing again, not sure who i want around in my life anymore... this toy thing was a necessary evil that isn't necessarily necessary anymore... this is the second time that because of this toy nonsense that things i have bought for my son have gone missing in a large dollar value amount... it's fucking pissing me off.. no wonder the last little while i haven't gotten any games i'd rather have digital and/or burnt games for my modded systems... it is making me very careful lately who i trust, and i am smothered by all this crap.. i may not be moving, the jury is still undecided on that but i do need to take all this crap and expunge it from my life.. i was happier when it was simpler time a

They offered you a choice between the death of your principles and the death of your body. You said you'd rather die. You faced the fear of your own death, and you were calm and still. I don't know whats worse, the fact that I am trying and failing to make sense of all of this or that the fact of the matter that i was more comfortable when i was fighting the goverment instead of just her? I am trying and failing to return to my old life and remebering who i used to be because all that seems to be left is the mask Of anger and vengeance that i wore and am still wearing to fight and protect that which is of upmost importance to me. There is nothing left except that, and the fact that I am slowly returning to old habits and trying to become the man i used to be before I was destroyed is proving more difficult than i ever thought it would be, No i was not expecting a happily ever after scenario before when the end of one battle came but I was expecting more... Not to be alone an