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Remember....

They offered you a choice between the death of your principles and the death of your body. You said you'd rather die. You faced the fear of your own death, and you were calm and still.

I don't know whats worse, the fact that I am trying and failing to make sense of all of this or that the fact of the matter that i was more comfortable when i was fighting the goverment instead of just her? I am trying and failing to return to my old life and remebering who i used to be because all that seems to be left is the mask Of anger and vengeance that i wore and am still wearing to fight and protect that which is of upmost importance to me. There is nothing left except that, and the fact that I am slowly returning to old habits and trying to become the man i used to be before I was destroyed is proving more difficult than i ever thought it would be, No i was not expecting a happily ever after scenario before when the end of one battle came but I was expecting more... Not to be alone and still fighting and starving for every scrap of meat i can find... I have to go back to the person I was before and I don't think that will ever happen, I was scarred then to, but i had hope and faith in the human condition, now those feelings for the system are replaced by the hatred and the anger that was always there, but now bubbled to the surface with blistering heat... I don't know if i can bury it agian and be anywhere close to the person i used to be, I don't know if i want to be that person ever agian anyways...

Current Mood: Lost.
The ending is nearer than you think, and it is already written. All that we have left to choose is the correct moment to begin.

Comments

Anonymous said…
"Out of the night that covers me, black as the pit from pole to pole. I thank whatever gods may be, for my unconquerable soul. In the fell clutch of circumstance, I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance, my head is bloody, but unbowed. Beyond this place of wrath and tears looms but the horror of the shade, and yet the menace of the years finds and shall find me unafraid. It matters not how straight the get, how charged with punishments the scroll. I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul. "

You'll find your way again.
11:51 AM
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