Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

To conquer frustration, one must remain intensely focused on the outcome, not the obstacles Today is a clusterfuck of epic proportions and it's time i took a step back and wondered to myself what the hell I ever thought about this stupid toy thing when i find myself jumping thru hoops to possibly take a fucking chance that i will make money because there is a good chance this could all end up an expensive clusterfuck. I'm sick and tired of the politics and the games behind all of this stupid plastic shit and if i don't see if fucking gone this weekend by the summer one way or another it will be all fucking gone... I'm so frustrated by all this shit and when i book a fucking truck in the early parts of the month i shouldn't come down two or three days before and find out that oops we forgot to do the fucking booking esp. when i have fucking cash in hand. it is fucking sad that at this point i have few choices, I can keep that locker going forever and look back on a

Ideals are peaceful. History is violent. This war needs to end and I am sick of the fucking stalling and the fact that unresponsive people that have a large amount of my hard earned money are the one's lagging at this point. it's not about me, it's never been about me, it will never be about me. It's about him, it will always be about him, but when a so called professional takes over six months to do her fucking job and is stalling with excuses, and doesn't respond to phone calls. it's time for me to show my aggresive asshole side and deal with people the same way I feel that people have been dealing with me, I have bit my lip for far too long and waited pateinetly for four fucking years as of last week, the time for patience is fucking done, Finished. this is a war and i need to meet fucking people on that level, not on a level of politeness, not on a level of anything more than it is time to fucking deal with people at the level they are dealing with me. I&#

A father knows his child's heart, as only a child can know his fathers. This Holiday more than any other is always the darkest for me... there are gifts here from an Easter 4 years ago... it has been four of these goddamn stupid hallmark holidays that I always somehow made special for him anyways.. Almost 4 years in a few weeks.... There are still gifts here from every one of those years that has been missed but I don't know If i have the strength to keep fightinginto a fifth easter.. Four years it has been a very long time... I love my boy and wish him a happy easter regardless of everything but it's really hard to be so damn sad. this has to end soon and I hope it does but it is sad that the system are a money making machine that has no accountabilty for it's timetable or the fact that an innocent man has been torn away from his little boy for so long... And it's Not about me, it's never been about me, it's not my little soul that hangs in the balance, i