Skip to main content

The Last Easter.

A father knows his child's heart, as only a child can know his fathers.

This Holiday more than any other is always the darkest for me... there are gifts here from an Easter 4 years ago... it has been four of these goddamn stupid hallmark holidays that I always somehow made special for him anyways.. Almost 4 years in a few weeks.... There are still gifts here from every one of those years that has been missed but I don't know If i have the strength to keep fightinginto a fifth easter.. Four years it has been a very long time... I love my boy and wish him a happy easter regardless of everything but it's really hard to be so damn sad. this has to end soon and I hope it does but it is sad that the system are a money making machine that has no accountabilty for it's timetable or the fact that an innocent man has been torn away from his little boy for so long... And it's Not about me, it's never been about me, it's not my little soul that hangs in the balance, it's My son who has to grow up without his father... as hard as i try i will never be able to recover this lost time and the years of his childhood she's taken away from me. that's on her. But i can be angry and Depressed today, I don't forget that this weekend is a time of darkness and rebirth regardless of my beliefs and one day i will make easter weekend special for him agian.... it just sucks that it's not going to be this year.

Current Mood: Angry, Depressed.

A boy is a magical creature - you can lock him out of your workshop, but you can't lock him out of your heart.

No love is greater than that of a father for His son.

The son needs the father to have access to his source, and the father needs the son to have access to the future and the infinite.

You become a man when, in having children, you not only physically look after and protect them but also protect them with all the love and learning you have to give.

He promised us that everything would be OK. I was a child, but I knew that everything would not be OK. That did not make my father a liar. It made him my father

Good parents use the mistakes they did in the past when they were young to advice the children God gave to them to prevent them from repeating those mistakes again. However, bad parents always want to be seen as right and appear "angelic and saintly" as if they never had horrible youth days.

Perhaps someday, when you are a Mother, Princess, you will understand how empty is your heart if your child is a hollow toy that you can move where you will him to be


Happy Easter Joshua. I miss You, as Always. Love, Your Dad.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me.  I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period. 

The Dying False King.

I am a ghost and a spectre in a lot of peoples lives that I have touched. Some I shouldn’t be, and some I have willingly walked away for my own mental health. I’m starting to get to that point with many things in my life agian. I thought it would be easier to live a simple life and just have fun but I think it’s harder than when I worked my face off as a father. At least then my enemies didn’t pretend to be my freinds and the world wasn’t falling apart slowly. Just my world.  I think I prefer whatever that was then compared to what the world is now. I have my own life and adventures and I don’t need anyone that doesn’t want or need to be in my life. I have fun with what I do and don’t let negative sources affect my life. If you’re gonna drag me down, I’ll be gone. That’s how it works.  You’re not going to disturb my fucking peace. That’s what the metal shows are for. That is anger’s release. Plus to have fun.