Skip to main content

The Chess Game IV

We demonize the enemy so that our opponent is no longer human. We view ourselves, our people, as the embodiment of absolute goodness. Our enemies invert our view of the world to justify their own cruelty. In most mythic wars this is the case. Each side reduces the other objects—eventually in the form of corpses.

War is an atrocity committed in the name of survival. A lesson I wish I had never learned.

The best revenge is not to be like your enemy.

You will know who the enemy is intimidated by because they're the ones he targets and keeps beating down.

When kind men grow angry, things are about to change.


My life is like chess, I don't know the broad strokes, but I know my final moves in any given situation. it's time to play the game again, but this time I'm gonna stack the deck and stop trying to just go along with the fucking flow and have things just end up ending up where they always do, i have some bombs to throw that i have kept in my back pocket for so many years, this is a chess game and this is an end game, in chess the pawns go first but its time to put some heavy hitters upon the fucking board... it's time to start showing the people that need to see that the game is over.. that you don't get away with this shit... delays and games are her game not mine.. I'm a fucking sledgehammer and I've always got options, i play chess six moves ahead, I've already figured out what the hell your going to do, that being said, my big moves are always unpredictable because i have more than one formulating in my head at any given time.. the time for patience is done.. I've given you more than enough time to hang yourself, here, have a noose, not it's time to finish the game... it's time for one little voice that is growing up so fast without my presence to be heard, and maybe without his psychos mothers intervention ,i might have an angle to play there... I'm done with being fucking patient. it's time to be the big scary monster everyone thinks i am anyways....maybe it will get shit done. this is a war, one i may not be be destined to win, but ill be damned if i lose. ill go down swinging first.

It's not about what you're capable of, it's about what you are willing to endure.

I've stopped caring, I'm sick of living my life on auto pilot just waiting for things to happen, there has to be more to this than simply surviving. All I am doing right now is simply enduring. I'm sick of fighting for the smaller things that used to make me happy, I have a bigger agenda at play, and for that, for him, I'll be alone, miserable and angry, I'll scorch the earth and destroy everything if I have to. I'm sick and frustrated of everyone else and what they need and want from me, there are only so many fucking strips you can peel from a mans back before he ceases to care, worse than that I'm getting angry and feral and sick of everything. There is only one agenda and it's mine, the rest of the world and all these petty little people I keep doing things for can go fuck themselves for all I care, I have bigger things on the horizon. It's time to focus on that, and only that. I'm sick of people taking advantage of me, it's time for that to stop, it's time for me to get mean, it's time for me to be selfish. There are too many people I know that only look out for themselves and don't bother when someone has been there for them to be there when he needs them I'm sick of it, it's time to start fucking crossing people off my list, I'm sick of fake friends, divided loyalties, not knowing where I stand, and being fucked over. I'm much more comfortable with just a Stab in the back, I can usually see that fucking coming... But it's done, it's time for me to be selfish and only care about myself, because caring about the wrong people has gotten me exactly what in this life?

Current Mood: Tired

There are people out there who think I'm a monster. That I feed on the blood and the violence. They have it half right. I am a monster... but I don't feel a thing. It's my job. The role I've been given. The boogeyman.

Sometimes doing the right thing for you makes you a villain in the eyes of others, but in order to live with yourself, you must be true to yourself.

Nobody ever did, or ever will, escape the consequences of his choices.

Better to fight and fall than to live without hope

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...

51.

Happy birthday.  Hope you are happy and enjoying yourself. I like that we are civil and communicating but i also think you need to take some introspective time and decide the next step. I want you to be happy whether or not I am a part of your life. And i am trying very hard to be. Today, this weekend. I just want to talk to you, hear you laugh..maybe even see you smile. Thats all i want. For you to enjoy your day and hear happy Birthday from me and my son. Thats all you need..to know you are loved. Happy Birthday Baby. You are always loved. No matter what. Unconditional.