Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

Some things don't rest easy, even when they're dead. Their bones cry out from the ground. Nothing in my life is ever easy. Nor would I want it that way. I'd rather fight out of every foxhole... And never ever fucking back down. There is a certain fucking freedom in nothing... And no attachments... I'm debating the next step in my life and I bought time to do it. But it's real easy to fade away and be forgotten. It's real easy to step into another life and be someone else with no fucking ties to who I am now.. To this place. Somewhere mentally I no longer want to fucking be. I'd rather be elsewhere than alone dwelling on my darkness in this shadowed place. The fact that there is an option to return to somewhere elsewhere, a place from before all this... The fact that the only roots here are pyshical and will soon come under the wrath of the wrecking ball... Going home would make it full circle... Going home would be a clean fucking break... I left Windsor

Sometimes you have to do what is right even if your heart aches against it. The hardest choices require the strongest wills. I've lost. That much is clear. How much I have lost is still up to me. I'm done fighting, no more cops, no more courts, no more lawyers. But I am having a hard time making a decision when it would be just as easy to not make a subtle emergency contact so the lines of communication are open. I wonder how much anger and hate are between us that I am seriously doubting the fact that giving you emergency contact information is a good thing.there will be no other communication whatsoever. But I shouldn't have to fuckin fear the fact that I will always be here for him, that's all I have left to give, that's all I have left to choose. I should not be afraid to have a open line of communication should something happen... It's going to be a hard decision to make, one full of apprehension, but knowing myself, and knowing the actions I have and