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Home.

With you, I am home.

I Am Home, it's only for a limited moment for the moment but that may soon be changing as i'm trying to figure out the rest of my life... I can't live in a box for the rest of my life and that has been the status quo for the last year, speaking of status quo.. i have been in Hamilton for the last twelve fucking years which is the longest i have ever lived yet i have never pout down roots there the way i did here in Windsor and sadly in Niagara.. there has to be a reason for that? I know the city is dangerous and poison for me yet i am feeling stuck for a million fucking reasons.. it's time to make a major change in the next six months fuck the consequences...i haven't changed but my world has.. I am no longer comfortable there and there is someone I love elsewhere and i need to be closer to her at some point once we have it all figured out...i did my duty i stuck around till he was an adult even tho it caused plenty of fucking heartache and destroyed my life.. the little bit that is still good in my life is here in Windsor, There is unfinished business here, I still have a handful of fucking goals. Once i make it past the next step that is fucking needed I am going to make a fucking choice and it's not one that everyone in my life will fucking like.. but the difference is, I'm not fucking interested in doing whats right from anyone else in my life anymore.. I've lost enough trying to do the right thing for others.. it's time for me to do the right thing for me and my future whatever the future is going to be, I don't have time for people that have fallen away from me, you're opinion doesn't fucking matter and the first time i was truly happy and an adult was here.. i'm trying to get back tot that, This city doesn't have the baggage the hammer does.. i'm not about to decide anything for anyone that doesn't have my fucking side, i'm focused on the one at my side when the time is right the decision will be made, i'm not there yet, but that day is coming... and this is likely the best place for me to be.. i'm not getting any younger and i deserve to fucking have happiness and stability too... remember this is the only place I've ever had that. if there is a future here im going to seek it out, I'm not going to be defined by what has come before.. i'm gonna find out what the next step is... and I'm going to ride the roller coaster until the fucking end of the line...i'm having fun and i'm fucking happy and that is all a man can fucking ask for.

I'm done swallowing my pride and not reaching my full potential in this life because of so called responsibilities... what the fuck do i have as a result? A crown of shit? a bunch of experiences and memories??? i worked for years to keep my head above water to end up with fucking nothing... i have something here and it's fucking real, i'm gonna fucking fight for it and see where it goes.

Current Mood: Happy.
Current Music: Eminem, Won't Back Down.

It’s a funny thing coming home. Nothing changes. Everything looks the same, feels the same, even smells the same. You realized what’s changed is you.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Good to see you're still alive. Facebook, you know?
8:34 PM
Bones said…
Who the hell are you?
7:35 PM
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