Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

I hate the fact that our little family is defined by who the hell each on of us is dating and that's always a fucking ultimatum between us... Maybe I'm better fucking off doing what I'm doing with those I love without having my son used as an emotional bargaining chip. My love isnt unconditional but I'm sick of it being used agianst me like a fucking weapon over and over and over agian. So much easier to just walk away I'm sick of this shit. I'm done with it. I'm not begging anyone to be in my fucking life that wants to be there... Not anymore. Fuck this. Fuck this noise. You want to play games emotionally with me in a worldwide crisis? My parents are high risk fucking done. No more games. I'm sick of having my fucking life disrupted. We have real things to hate each other for... Maybe that's where things should stand.. I'm sick of you trying to destroy me and the things I have in my life... It's not fucking fair.. you took you're po

I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that's really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you're so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare. I am constantly torn between killing myself and killing everyone around me. I'm not begging anyone to stay in my life... if you want me out of it, the message has been fucking received, I'm making my choices on whats best for me and only for me... There's too many people in my life that are drama right now, IF you don't want to be in my life, so be it, I don't want you there. I'm know for fucking walking away to focus on whats truly important to me. I can't deal with the negativity that's coming around, I have no problem leaving people that by their actions and behaviors have already left me. im not gonna fight to save anyone's soul by my own now. and mines already corrupted to shit so whats the fucking point. I'm do