Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

Fuck you because I loved you Fuck you for loving you too I don't need a reason to hate you the way I do In the natural order of things hating you is the most obvious response. There's no reason we should change things from the status quo. Any changes with you come with a price. I'm too old and too bitter to pay that price now. I have no patience for nostalgia or going back to things the way they were. We are different people. We've grown up. We've grown up cold. There may be forgiveness, but I will never forget what you and you alone have done to me. I have no fucking time for high school nonsense. I will fade away out of your life like I never fucking existed if you pull that shit. I have no qualms about doing so. You can't keep playing games and just expect me to swallow them hook line and sinker. There will come a day when I no longer care. It comes easy to me to cut people out of my life. Even you. If I don't trust you, and you have given m

I died here. Twenty years ago. When everything that was singular about me left me, when two souls became one. We are broken and damaged and maybe that's why it never worked the way things are supposed to, but... We left pieces of each other within.  Without them, without the other we will never be whole. I know it's going to be a long road, and I know that I hold no illusions to it working out, in fact the odds are stacked against it, but I'm willing to try. You are my true home, you are my family. That's the only thing left to me that's is important in my life. Maybe this week I'll know where I stand, maybe I won't. I just know I've got to try and place the cards on the table, I've got one hand, I'm playing it, no illusions, no grand schemes, those are things for younger men, men with ambition. I just want my heart back. My true true heart. My true home. I don't know if it will happen. I expect to eventually just fade away and be forgotten a