Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

  I have made war upon her, but I have never been her enemy. You don’t need me. You need to constantly play the victim and I am the ultimate bad guy in all you’re fantasies, except you’re reality is worse than that and you fucking well know it.  You don’t love me, you love the idea of me... you know I’m always going to be there and I’m always going to attempt to do the right thing no matter if I fucking like it or not... and I hate that you make me feel that way. You’re childish delusional life leaves a bitter taste in my mouth it always has.  Ten years on, I tried to stop caring but I couldn’t. Somewhere inside I still have emotions buried, but this last betrayal stings and reminds me for all you’re pretty words they are still bullshit,  I haven’t forgotten or forgiven what you took from us a decade ago, the lives and the worlds you destroyed. I just tried to make peace and attempt to forgive you for destroying me, I only succeeded in destroying myself more, because now on s

I  hate this holiday, I have my reasons.   I’m sorry kid, I really tried this year like I do every chance I have every time she gives me an opportunity to attempt to be part of you’re life, but she’s selfish and her attitude is all or nothing even if it means it hurts you or I.  I will always try and I will always have hope but I am getting to the fucking point where I need to walk away and stop falling for her games. All I want or need is my family back.... and that is constantly played with. I’m not going to endure it forever. You’re almost an adult, maybe one day you will see and understand... maybe one day she will figure it all out and what really matters... But I don’t know how many more times I can pull the knife out of my back and continue to forgive you’re mother when she constantly gets my hopes up and betrays me, I love you both... but there is a limit to how long I can endure you’re mothers bullshit without walking away.... ....there’s nothing for me here, and I don