Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

  I don’t need anyone. Anything i have ever done I always did alone. Not with help. Not for charity. Just me. I spent 5 years of my life doing epic shit that networked me a million connections and experiences and that was all fucking me. Not fair weather asshole freinds, not people who claimed to love me... just me, in my darkest hour making choices not to be a defeat, I am the concrete the Rose grew from. I’m harder than most. I don’t give up easily. But I do it alone. Because that’s who I am. It’s probably time to close doors and withdraw and go back to the person I used to be and only be about me and my responsibilities at this point in life. I’ve always done things alone, just because I had a few luxuries due to relationships the last few years doesn’t mean I need them or want them. I can do my own adventures and do just as many things alone. I am closing quarters and making the world a lot smaller.  One day I may withdraw completely with a sea change, but it’s disappointing to see

I don’t care who you are. If you disrespect me or especially someone innocent I care about I will cut you out of my life, relationships and friendships full fucking stop. I don’t care who the fuck you are. I’m about me. The fact that someone had to suffer a little bit today because someone else played games frustrates me. The fact we were mocked for it has me seriously re-evaluating a friendship again. I forgive a lot of stupidity when it’s just me but when you are malicious even in ignorance to the absolute closest of my inner circle. An inner circle up until today I thought one of you two clowns belonged to. I have to consider how much I believe that after today.  That being said the other idiot? This is not the first time. And not the first time you’ve placed him in the fucking crosshairs by you’re stupid behaviours. I simply do not need people like you in my life. You have been excommunicated. Give you’re catholic with a gigantic forehead you should understand that. See ya. Current

I’m enjoying my life and having fun and I am not interested in looking back at all. There is nothing anyone or anything that can offer me to ever make me look back into my past right now. All that lies in the past is memory and ruins. I may miss loved ones that aren’t by my side anymore. But I need to move on and figure out my place in life. I’ve never been fuckin defined by anyone else and it’s too fucking late for that to change now. Even if I feel like the days are getting shorter and the night is coming sooner than expected and one day there will simply no more Dawn. I’m still gonna live my life like a black haired kid that was 17. Free. No rules. No responsibilities. No regrets. No Remorse. I have lived a good life and did the best I could towards the ones I lived. Sometimes there agendas didn’t agree with me. Sometimes they didn’t know exactly what there agenda was. All I fucking know is I wouldn’t even come crawling back. To Anyone. That’s where I stand.  Independent. Alone. I’l

  I think I miss him more at Halloween because that was the last pure moment that me and him had that wasn’t tainted by drama or bullshit. I mean we were even on the same page, regardless of the reasons why it was a good fucking day. I want to go back to days like that. But I know what we have lost and what you have cost all of us. All I ever wanted to be was a good father and husband. When I wasn’t one, I settled for the other. But you had to take that away from me too. Oh well he’s grown now. His choices are his own. When there's no more room in Hell, The Fiend shall rule the Earth.