Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

I am an afterthought in a lot of peoples lives. But I know who I am close to and who k matters. My personality, my ethics and my morals are things that are unchanging. I’m gonna be a gentleman with whoever I’m hanging out with.  And I’m going to protect those that I love. And make sure they get home safe.  I do epic shit and I hang out with epic people. I am legendary. I have things to deal with and drama. It doesn’t matter. I’m having fun and I’m just letting the world flow. I’m having fun and I’m not letting things be any more complicated than I need to. I’m happy. And I’m happy being a good person and a gentleman. 

I definitely have con fatigue. It’s time to be done for a while. It’s ended at the place it began. That’s important to me.is soon accomplish and someone I care about for one of his holy grails. Time to forget about all this for a while and just have fun and be happy with my freind.  Need to focus on the things in my life that are important and have value to me and these fake fucking plastic people don’t. It’s time to separate from all that.  Walking away from toxic people is easy but I don’t want to lose the good people in my life by alienating them. This shit affects my moods. Time for it to be done.  I have epic adventures and friends from all over internationally. I need to focus on them and my priorities. This is another chapter of my life closed. Period.  Im gonna just enjoy the rest of the trip with one of my oldest friend’s and have fun. 

It’s been a long time coming for this return to the place everything started with the con stuff. And the fact I am doing it with my best international friend that I’ve known over 20 years makes today so much sweeter.  It may be dumbledores last dance. It might not be. But to leave it ten years ago and come back a legend? Yeah. This is the way to go out.  No more anger about the costume, no more sadness or stress, no more con politics . Just one more day where I can be me. Where I can have fun being me. That’s it. That’s all I need to be. No more pretending that I work well with others. I don’t. But I’m good with this cosplay all on my own. It’s fun, people like it. And if it’s time to be done I left it the same as I came into it. On my own terms. This is where it began, it’s fitting that this is where it ends.  Im happy and today will be a good day once we get there.  Current Mood: Happy.  Current Music: bottom feeder, parkway drive.

  I am really bothered by someone hurting my tree. I’m not sure the next step but that’s a living thing. I know that there is no healing when our things are still affected negatively by people. I’m not sure what the next step is but I know this is part and parcel of the entire thing and that we can’t heal when people hurt the things we care about.  I don’t have much but I do have a legacy to protect and there is a place where my son needs to feel safe, and I don’t think it will ever be that house agian. But once it was home, there are good memories there. There was love.  Part of that is the peace that was our tree. I’m sick of people damaging the things I love.  The world needs to be better and less selfish. I need peace in mine and her lives. Even if we are separate in our lives. She needs the peace and quiet I have in my life. Even more than I do.  And only one of us has it.