Shattered Glass: The End.

When someone puts an end to something, it doesn't mean that he gave up, it means that thing is not taking him anywhere.

It's better to burn out than to fade away.

This is It, there is a reality that this adventure is going to be over soon, Long after I have become bitter and have lost any semblance of interest in the entire process, it had it's moments both good and bad, and above and beyond it was always fucking Interesting, but the reality is aside from a few things that i will place into a glass coffin and the things i choose to buy going forward, after the holidays there will be nothing left of it. as much as i want to claim that i care, truly I do not. all this ever was, Was a means to an end, And now it's ending but the other major concern in my life isn't. I will enjoy whats left but whatever is left over, including some of the important things because of moments, will be left to remember, Hopefully there will be a few things to stand and remember that this wasn't just a fools errand to survive, these things have to stand for something... I want a few left for him to know the last few years he wasn't forgotten, It had to stand for something, even it's just a meory that i didn't get to share with him He was with me every step along the way...I would not have had any of this without him.

Current Mood: Tired.
Current Music:Breaking Benjamin - Dance with the devil

If something cannot go on forever, it will stop

We will all have an end to this journey one day, some will have a great ending some will have it bad, but it’s the journey that they take that matters, in the end.

Sometimes, the embers are better then the campfire. It's strange, but it's true

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Franco Un-American.

I hate everyone. I just pretend I don’t because I’m chasing this false inner peace, thats being constantly eroded by outsiders. I am happy, I was at peace. But I do see my country and more importantly my city for what it’s for and I’m getting angry again. Maybe I do need to be angry. Maybe I do need to rebel. Maybe I do need to speak out despite the fact that it can be used against me and hurt those I love. Nothing fucking new to me. This apathy has gotten me nowhere, this trying to be at peace was working but maybe I need to be angry, maybe I need to rail agianst the things that once were right have now went wrong. This isn’t a world I want my child growing up in, and he’s grown. But this isn’t the world I promised him. This is something else. This city wants to pick a fight with me? Cool, I know what busybody bitch it is. Don’t think I will tolerate any threats to those that I care for or myself. You want to fucking start a war? Maybe it’s time for me to be angry again.

Someone Like You.

I know there are aspects of me, my personality and my life that you still like. It’s why you had my child and no one else’s. But I don’t colour within the lines enough for you to settle down with. That’s been acknowledged for two fucking decades. He’s an adult. I don’t need to answer to anyone anymore in my life. I wasted years fighting you when I should have been fixing you. But those moments are over. All of our moments are over. I don’t even need to be angry. I just need to be. You and I are toxic. I’m better off without you in my life. It’s a little less toxic when I’m the only one on the boat. Only the captain goes down with the ship. I’ve always known i would die alone anyhow. No family, no friend’s, no real accomplishments to my life. I wrote that line almost 30 years ago. Self fulfilling prophecy. At least that way when I implode no one gets hurts. I was a fool to think otherwise. I’ve left too much damage in my path. I just want to be happy and at peace whatev...

Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

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