There is a strong possibility that I might be able to see the end of this... but coming off the last few weeks I don't have any more patience for anything getting in my way, and I'm holding everyone accountable.. all of those that owe me money, the people that claim to be my supports, the friends and Family that supposedly have my back except for the most part when I really need it and they don't.. this is the time for judgement and for battle.. I am at war Alone.. and this war is and will end one way or another very soon... It cannot be because of me that it goes south... I'm in a fucking corner right now because of her chess move... it's just more stalling and a way for her to create chaos for me in terms of planning... but it wasn't entirely unexpected. i will find a solution i don't care what it takes.. this is my son we are talking about.. fuck Christmas, fuck visiting friends.. at the end of the day my only priority is ending this fucking war and having involvement in my son's life again.. everything else, including midnight phone calls and machinations by idiots that are unimportant as far as my life goes... this is where I end the game.. Six years of hell with the unimaginable happening, I need to be in my child's life.. that's my only priority, that's the only priority. get In my way of that and you will be removed, from my life, from my direction, from right in front of me psychically if it comes down to that.. I'm done with any other options other than seeing this battle thru to the end.. everything else is a fucking distraction and I am done with Distractions. I'm still standing after fighting this war for over half a decade and I might not be standing tall in victory yet, but I'm standing and i have never ever backed down, no matter what the odds were. when and if this ends it ends on my terms and not a minute before.. but there is no way I will ever back down... regardless of outside influences, if it comes down to it... I'll end this without help. it's all I've ever known, the fight. why stop now? the game is almost over... it's just about manipulating the pawns now... I know how good you are at it... I might as well do the same.. it does me no harm at this late stage to take the high road and pretend like we aren't the same, down here in the mud.. I'm done pretending that I'm better than you in this little slugfest.. for the sake of that child.. I will scorch the earth, if I'm going to do it for every one else i MIGHT AS WELL START WITH YOU.
I'm sick of explaining myself to every person that i ask for assistance and dealing with the bureaucracy of that bullshit as well.. there's a reason why i have always fought my battle alone without asking for help unless i truly fucking needed it, because at the end of the day these fucking idiots make you jump thru hoops for nothing.. and all it does is distract from the actual goal rather than give any helpful assistance in the way of resolution. I'm going to try every fucking option i have, at this point I have no fucking Choice.. but i hate dealing with these fucking asshole yes people that constantly change when i have one that knows the situation and i am not going to be going into another situation to explain myself again to a new person... I'm too close to the end of my war, And believe me it is My war.. to ever deal with the fucking bureaucracy again at this point... i shouldn't have to constantly explain my fucking situation to get help. Fuck that.
Current Mood: Angry, Determined.
There's only one proper way for a professional soldier to die: the last bullet of the last battle of the last war.
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