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After the End...

War is like a monster," he says, almost to himself. "War is the devil. It starts and it consumes and it grows and grows and grows." He's looking at me now. "And otherwise normal men become monsters, too.

You know what sucks? Waiting. You've already shown your true colours... But thanks to an idiots own self interest we have to start over... It's going to be an interesting fucking month, it's going to be an interesting aspect of the next step of the war. Things aren't over, not by a long shot... It's just time to re evaluate and see where the fuck things are going... I have very little patience for people or the process at this stage.... Once it was all about ending the game, not having it last forever, now I have to make that choice. Is it going to go on forever if I start it agian or do I let her actions damn herself and allow myself to fade into memory. Sadly, I already know the choice my sheer force of will will end up making... The only thing I wonder is how that will affect him in the long term. But it is clear, start to finish this has to end by my hand, on my terms and not by anyone else that thinks they have control. We are too far gone at this stage for that.

This is probaly one of the hardest weeks of my life, all I can see six years to the date of her destroying my life is the bleak, black darkness of a hole. Before I had hope for done kind of resolvement... Now I don't even feel hope for vengeance... But I am not willing to ever fucking back down. It's just about the next step... Whatever it's going to be... But I might leave a lot of damage in my way... If I burn, you're all in the fire burning with me... If this is the blaze of glory I always predicted when I was younger, I won't be the only one to perish in the inferno, you're all coming with me... One way or another.

Of course, you're agenda is to constantly keep this in court until he's 18, one chess move after another. And when you run into someone you can't con with your fucking sob story, you just don't comply. That's fine with me, I'll just keep fighting back... And I'll be myself and honest, there is nothing left for you to destroy me with. You've already done that once... You can't do it twice. Patience is the long game... I'm in for the long run.

I am well aware it has been six years today since you took everything away. One day I will do the same to you.

Current Mood: Sad.
Current Music: iron maiden, wasted years

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