Fear 2.0: The Slow Path

War is not heroic. War is not exhilarating.

It is dark. It is dreadful. It is a thing of sorrow and gloom.
That is why people fear war. That is why people choose to avoid it.

If I intimidated you then I did my job to get this going in the right direction. I'm not about to stop or backdown. This has always been about me and you, and not him. Somehow, somewhere, someone needs to change that. I've got a mean streak a mile long and I am never going away. The knowledge that you fear and are intimidated by my is merely empowering and shows exactly who is truly in the wrong here.

It's a chess game and I'm in for the long haul. You are not the only one that knows how to play the long game. You want to throw curveballs? Cool, I can deal with that. I'll start throwing punches. I'm not backing down from you, your friends or anyone. It's time for the long game, you know how to play it better than anyone, but I've been playing this game with you just as long. I'll see it to the end, and I don't plan on losing. You're attempt at intimidation is amusing and shows me exactly how pathetic you truly are. It's just another pawn in this game, you'll discard as soon as it meets your needs. I'm about to make your life hell, and I will have no sympathy, regret or compunction a about doing so. You want to cut out my heart, I'm gonna eat yours.

I'm not a nice person, and sometimes I don't have to be. Everything you've taken from me, can and will one day be taken from you, I'm willing to wait and be patient and take the slow path, because there is only one ending that will ever apply.

Current Mood: Merely Annoyed, Determined.

Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Franco Un-American.

I hate everyone. I just pretend I don’t because I’m chasing this false inner peace, thats being constantly eroded by outsiders. I am happy, I was at peace. But I do see my country and more importantly my city for what it’s for and I’m getting angry again. Maybe I do need to be angry. Maybe I do need to rebel. Maybe I do need to speak out despite the fact that it can be used against me and hurt those I love. Nothing fucking new to me. This apathy has gotten me nowhere, this trying to be at peace was working but maybe I need to be angry, maybe I need to rail agianst the things that once were right have now went wrong. This isn’t a world I want my child growing up in, and he’s grown. But this isn’t the world I promised him. This is something else. This city wants to pick a fight with me? Cool, I know what busybody bitch it is. Don’t think I will tolerate any threats to those that I care for or myself. You want to fucking start a war? Maybe it’s time for me to be angry again.

Someone Like You.

I know there are aspects of me, my personality and my life that you still like. It’s why you had my child and no one else’s. But I don’t colour within the lines enough for you to settle down with. That’s been acknowledged for two fucking decades. He’s an adult. I don’t need to answer to anyone anymore in my life. I wasted years fighting you when I should have been fixing you. But those moments are over. All of our moments are over. I don’t even need to be angry. I just need to be. You and I are toxic. I’m better off without you in my life. It’s a little less toxic when I’m the only one on the boat. Only the captain goes down with the ship. I’ve always known i would die alone anyhow. No family, no friend’s, no real accomplishments to my life. I wrote that line almost 30 years ago. Self fulfilling prophecy. At least that way when I implode no one gets hurts. I was a fool to think otherwise. I’ve left too much damage in my path. I just want to be happy and at peace whatev...

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