Skip to main content

War Without End.....

All the things that I done, memories, they never hurt me. But the past, it's more than memories. It's the devil you sold your soul to. He's comin'. He's comin' to collect.

I am sick of waiting, I know that I cannot do this on my own, but when the odds are stacked against me and all i am doing is waiting for an answer, maybe it is time to do it on my own. I know I will fail alone... but I'd rather fail alone, in the trenches with no support, of any kind.. than to sit here comfortably and say i stopped fucking fighting because it got too hard or i couldn't get the help i need. I have patiently waited. I'm going to wait a few more day and then regardless it's time to move this forward.. almost seven years have been taken away, and we are reaching a critical moment in his life. I'd rather have him know that i never backed down and never stopped fighting, and lost than realize i walked away because in the interim short term she won a hollow victory... it's better to have allies in a war. But i will fall upon my sword alone if I have to. i am not backing down and I am sick of fucking waiting on politicians who couldn't give a damn about my case and I'm just a statistical number to them, i don't have time or patience for that shit. at then end of the day, regardless of whose on my side or who is on her side, this is a battle between you and I for the child that shares both of our traits and bloodlines. It is not a battle I will ever walk away from, I have had long enough to sit on the sidelines and expect reinforcements.

Current Mood: Depressed, Frustrated.

All I got in this world is my balls and my word and I don't break either of 'em for nobody.
— Tony Montana

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me.  I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period. 
Post a Comment
Read more

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind.  I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine.  I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy.  I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...
Post a Comment
Read more