I know one of the issues right now is that while we both have lingering feelings and there is something there that one day after the pandemic we might act upon, you don't like tbe fact that right now I have the upper hand and the higher ground because I'm just doing the right thing by you. You cant blame me anymore for what I haven't done because I've done them.
You just like being the one in control and dictating things... And I've never been good at following rules or being under any ones thumb. Even yours.
Trust me I do understand how intimidating all of this is, and how it can never be reversed because it is security for you. Its you're security blanket knowing that I love you and always am going to be there. I failed in that once and I am always going to regret it completely so it will never happen agian. No matter where we stand.
When you love someone and really mean it, it doesn't matter what happens. You are the love of my life, no one else is ever going to be that. And you know it.
You're just the impossible girl, I get it. You gotta play hard to get.
I also don't care if you're with other people, I just care that you're honest with me. Because I am always going to be the one that catches you when you fall.... And I know that you know that.
Sometimes when we talk all I want to hear is you say you love me, everything else can come in time. We don't have to rush things. That was always one of our problems. We wanted our whole lives in that moment and now if you look at it we have wasted a decade and a half that I think both of us want back.
I look at all the time and experiences wasted and there is a lot of regret not acting on my emotions sooner. Even if we are both still guarded now.
There are choices that should have been made that weren't. Our lives might have been different had one of us taken different turns. That's what I'm trying to do now. Take us on another path... I'd like to hope you're going to join me.
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