Pretend We’re Dead.

There was always something wrong with me. I accept that now.

But the difference between me and you is that I admit that I’m a monster and no it wasn’t you that made me. You just perfected me and took away any soul that I had left at the time.

You aren’t the only one in my life I am dead to. And not the only one that pretends I’m dead. That being said, I don’t need anyone in my life or out of its justification to have anything in my fucking life.

I have walked away from everyone on my life before and there are times that I regret. Not continuing down my own road. My life

Might have been different.

It also may have been disaster and ruin, but I’ve done a great job of that anyways.

Truth be told I don’t give a shit anymore to be anything to anyone. I have my own responsibilities and my own problems and right now I’m standing still for someone I love rather than moving on,

And away. This is the last moment I allow status quo to rule my life.

At this point in my life I only have time for the ones that we’re in my life when I needed them and were still there. And the ones that need me now.

My responsibilities that’s it. I don’t know how much time any of us have left. But there is definitely no fucking time for anyone whose not got the time for

Me or worse.

If you have anger or fear for me? It’s better I stay fucking forgotten. I mean it’s not like I have ever had a problem with disappearing from

Peoples lives.

I know I’m not fucking important in the scheme of things. I never have been.

There are very few people in my life that have made me feel otherwise. And that’s why right now, my main goal In life is taking care of one of those few that have made feel valued so he has a more comfortable and productive life.

The rest of you that never had my back? Fuck right off. You know who you are.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number. I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no longer

Fuel Injected Suicide Machine.

Pissing me off is never a good fucking option. I have a life and I don’t need to make fucking sacrifices for anyone if I choose not to. I’m getting real fed up with simply being expected to do and arrange things so someone else can have a fucking escape. This is starting to become a fucking pattern in my life. Some I choose to do for, but others, when I’m starting to notice a fucking pattern? I’m gone. I will always be gone. The fact I have yet to step foot in England when I have a secondary place to stay should speak volumes in terms of this freindship and how it’s no longer even. I’m sick of things only being halfway when I’m trying with certain fucking people and I can bail and close ranks and not give a flying fuck about anyone anymore when I’m not being treated with respect esp. given to mine and my brothers financial situation. I don’t mind making sacrifices but I’m still going to make sure that my main fucking priorities are taken care of. I’m not going to pretend to keep th

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