Remember, you’re here forever. I’ve already been in this place half my life. And those are the years I consider the better ones of my life. We are broken, bruised and fractured and ruined. Nothing ever went right for us, the world got in the way. But the moments we do have are beautiful, and they are ours, no matter what happens, no matter what has happened. They can never take our moments away. They are locked away, in my head, in my heart… He was planned. I don’t know the next step. I know we will play this game forever. It was nice to start a new year without you in my life. I haven’t had that since 2003. I know that I will love you forever. And I also know that you will never let me go anyways even if it turns to anger and malice once again. I thought I could live with it just being peace. But I don’t do peace. I do mayhem. I have earned a fucking right to be distant and left alone. You don’t want me unless there is a drama and strife in your life. So you can have ...
I am at peace and it’s going to take one hell of a person to change that. There’s only one person I want in my life but I am aware she prefers as villain and devil over her saviour. I’m good with that. If there has to be a bad guy in the story let it be me. Doesn’t mean the emotions aren’t still there. Even the devil has loved ones. It’s not there yet, but it’s close. But im still not letting my guard down as history has proven that it just takes one mood swing and everything changes. There was a moment once I cared about doing the right thing and being a good person. But now if you’d asked me if I would choose to be the angel or the demon in the equation, I’d choose demon without hesitation. Demons are honest. They wont hide behind lies of a pretty face. The biggest issue other than Trusting you is the fact I have to decide 25 years on if i want you in my life after all the damage has been done. I wake up every day wanting you to be my wife, and I go to s...