The bats have left the bell tower.
And another chapter in my life ends. One with more negatives than positives. Same reasons as the last time I was associated with anything other than myself. At least the last time I left something like this I was walking away from money. This time, I am walking away from exactly fucking nothing of value.
All it ever was, it was an albatross around my neck. It started bad and it ended quietly. With the same quiet knives of jealousy in my back that had always been there. At least when I’m an asshole I’ll come at you directly with a fucking rhinoceros in a China shop attitude. I don’t hide behind others and I stand behind the words I say. I don’t apologize because it’s a sign of weakness. And I don’t care, because I have bigger things in my life and my world than this.
I walked away from all this when it made me money and miserable. Now all it does is make me miserable. There’s no reason for me to continue and I don’t do plastic two faced people. At any level in my life. I have too many responsibilities and problems in my personal life. A place in trying to find a happy balance and peace.
I don’t need a hobby making me miserable. I’ll walk away from it. Esp when I’m feeling disrespected. It’s walk away time. Thank you for all the jealousy and all the taking advantage of me that’s been done. But im fucking good. I’m always best on my own and fuckin solo. It’s always worked better when I don’t play well With others.
I’m better off when I have my own playground to play in. No one pisses me off and nobody gets hurt.
I’m not sad, I’m not angry. I’m just glad it’s done and I can move on with my life and let this just be that. A memory.
I made peace who I am and my place in my personal life a long time ago. If someone who hardly knows me wants to judge me for someone else’s actions, yeah, mic drop, I am out. Long fucking gone. Done. That’s not my story, but it is in my interests to protect those that it affects. And I’m not going to have someone who hardly knows me affecting my life or my family.
This was a hobby, it was supposed to be fun. Now it’s not, now it’s done. I’m gone. I left something similar a decade ago when it made me money. All this does is make me miserable.
It’s not needed.
I don’t need any validation from anyone. I have a pretty epic life and lifestyle all on my own and this can easily be replaced by me doing something, anything else. You’re mistaken if you actually think this was ever important to me. It isn’t. There was one true moment where it mattered and that was just the last one.
If it ends on that moment I am 100% at peace with that moment because it’s a good moment.
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