I've never gave a rats ass about being the bad guy. But I have cared about being a fairweather freind and how I reflect on being a role model to my son. I will walk away from any bad actors or bad relationships that endanger the relationship I am slowly attempting to rebuild.
I know I can be a prick. But when you hurt someone I care about, I do not trust you that you may affect those I care about. I burn bridges with gasoline while I'm standing upon them.
It wont be the first multiple decade freindship ive demolished, it won't be the last. Im starting to reevaluate a lot of drinking buddies agian to see who is actually something and who I just party with. If I'm obviously moving in a direction thats going to have me ghosting someone whose been around for a minute, so be it. It wont even be the first one this year. I dont look back. And I dont care, if I exclude you from my life, thats an ending that's where its done.
I am making choices for my future and its pretty evident who is and who will not be a fucking part of that reality. This has been a very long chess game and honestly I'm going to choose what is mine over ancillary freindships where I'm treated like an afterthought.
I am done with being disrespected and treated like I am less by people who have never done anything in their lives that the weren't fucking handed. And worse I'm not having them around my family members with that horrible fucking attitude. Its been clearly evident for a long time that I need to move on from these freindships and I think I finally will. Last year was a sign. This year is a revelation.
Its truly visible how little I am fucking valued. So I can be the bad guy agian and fucking bail. I'm used to it, I'm always the guy to fucking blame.
Better to be hated than loved, at least you will fucking respect me. And if you dont? You are Gone.
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