Skip to main content

Fuck This Shit.




i am fucking enraged and pissed off by current devolopments.. just when i think things couldn't get any worse i end up fucked up the ass by someone i trusted.... so what else is new.... i am starting to belive that i should just fucking pack up and leave this city.. i was happier in windsor... shit... i was happier on the streets of toronto without a roof over my head back when i was 17. i am not fucking caring anymore about this world and everything in it... why the fuck should i give a rat ass when everyone i engange in assitance fucks me over... better to just run away from my problems and be a deadbeat dad.. too bad my Mother raised with more fucking backbone than that... thank god for family supports... if not i think my fragile mental state would make columbine look like a video game... i know i would never act upon my anger and urges but goddamnit right now the whole idea of doing it is so tasty.... if i hadn't put mental and pyschic barriers to the subconcious part of me where my real anger lies i would be going ballastic right now... and the funny fucking part.... the person that deserves this anger is actually being felt sorry for.... because she's such a fucking loser.... it's not my life she's destroying i think she's starting to realize it... of course.. it fucking help's when someone i trusted helps to deflect the anger upon herself by being useless... i mean how much more of a useless fucking person can you be when you hold a persons life in your hands.... 6.9 hours my ass... more like maybe 20 minutes... i am having trouble trying to deal can you tell?

Current Mood: Explosive Anger.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Father and Son.

I dont know the next step. I don't claim to. I just know I'm working to rebuild a relationship that has been fractured for many years. That includes both of you. I am here. I will always be here, I have always been here that will never change  This weekend was epic and it felt right. I don't know what will happen but i do know that I am at peace with being civil and polite with your mom. It was nice to have a little adventure as a family. It felt right. It what was missing in our lives. Thank you. 
Post a Comment
Read more

The Trees.

  I am really bothered by someone hurting my tree. I’m not sure the next step but that’s a living thing. I know that there is no healing when our things are still affected negatively by people. I’m not sure what the next step is but I know this is part and parcel of the entire thing and that we can’t heal when people hurt the things we care about.  I don’t have much but I do have a legacy to protect and there is a place where my son needs to feel safe, and I don’t think it will ever be that house agian. But once it was home, there are good memories there. There was love.  Part of that is the peace that was our tree. I’m sick of people damaging the things I love.  The world needs to be better and less selfish. I need peace in mine and her lives. Even if we are separate in our lives. She needs the peace and quiet I have in my life. Even more than I do.  And only one of us has it. 
Post a Comment
Read more