With time the child draws in
This whipping boy done wrong
Deprived of all his thoughts
The young man struggles on and on he's known
A vow unto his own
That never from this day
His will they'll take away
How does one turn into the very thing he hates? i have become an old schoold child and youth worker and it is what is working for this job but it is not something i wanted to turn into. even when I try and implement new strategies i have to revert to old and useless behaviors of intimidation and pyshical activity to get the point across...there are lines that shouldn't be crossed and i won't do that but i am starting to feel like the scary care bear personailty i try and broadcast only works so well for some children and sometimes i just have to be a two faced ogre when there are issues. this is not what i signed on for. i had much better expectations. i am thinking of going back to school to possibly get some teaching credentials as well seeing how i can see burning out can become a real possibilty real fast, office politics is one thing but when it seems that i am sacrificing ethics, good intentions and my own beliefs in an effort to become more of an aggresive CYW I am slightly disapointed. I have a killer instinct it does rear it's head from time to time but i should not be having to use it on 11 year olds. i'm not that angry and vindictive to turn into a bully like some others i work with have. i still have hope.
Current Mood: Disapointed.
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