Skip to main content

RAGE.

Yup, Another day And I'm still angry... I should not have to spend my days busking in sub zero temperatures so I don't have to worry about where my next meal is coming from, or Sacrifice by selling items bought for me and my child's enjoyment... it will hurt tomorrow selling his Thomas table, but the reality is that he had fun with it and he has outgrown it long ago... and I can't recover that lost time..it has been taken away, I'll just make it up to him for his birthday and Christmas this year... I am downsizing for a reason, If and when I make a choice to walk away I won't have lingering reminders of my former life here in Hamilton... That days not coming but It is always an option...It is always my choice to use this Anger and Rage to fight for the things I believe in, and the people I love instead of letting it destroy me...I don't know at this point what i would do without the Anger...it has it's uses...it helps me Survive... anything. At this point It drives me to get the things that need to be get accomplished.... I don't hide it and I don't behind smoke, Mirrors and illusions, It's always about who I am, And I have always been Angry.. I just let the rage like a knife get dulled for a few years... but it's back.. and it has returned with a vengeance and even when i have peace this time In my life and I am left with just another bloody victory even after all these tears have been shed, this time the Anger and Rage will Not be forgotten.

Current Mood: Angry.
Current Music: Within Temptation, Iron. (the war is Coming Bitch.)
Sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number.  I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no lon...
Post a Comment
Read more

Serpent's Kiss.

I pass in and out of peoples lives. sometimes i wonder why they come back. sometimes i wonder if the issue is me. i do grand things and i back up my plans and words and maybe sometimes thats too much for some. but all i have ever asked from those that i love is honesty. i don't care if things fall apart. all i need is the truth.  I'm getting to the point i don't trust fucking anyone. and being betrayed by those that are at best fairweather fucking friends when im not exactly finacally fucking stable.  there are reasons i keep my circle small and those i truly trust even closer. it takes a lot to be a part of my life and and i am seriously considering withdrawing from some of my social activities again because it seems like the last couple years they just turn to shit and all i am doing is losing money. i have stopped caring about a lot of people in the past and it can be real fuckin easy for me to walk away from agian. id rather work on the relationships both old and new th...
Post a Comment
Read more