Let's establish a few things right now in terms of my fucking life.. I am responsible for only one other person In my life and it seems like am being drained away by concerns that are not mine and distracted by them, I need to analyze my options and start making plans to move forward.. if someone is crying the blues and can't find any kind of stability in her life and that conversely affects my life I am seriously considering moving on, there has been way to much bullshit in the last year to consider anything otherwise, because of her actions i was essitantly homeless last winter for December and at this fucking point i am debating whether or not i want to allow myself to be stuck in the predicament again... I care about the people around me but i have to look out for myself and my interests first, As i said Other than me, there is only One person I am responsible for... and at this point i have to do a long hard look in the mirror and at my surroundings and decide what the best course of action for me is...i can only deal with so much bullshit and putting other little people at risk because of poor decisions isn't part of the plan, neither is affecting my situation by the same brush of paint.. I am going to win, I won't be dragged down into someone Else's personal hell... it's bad enough i am affected by it.. I need stability in my life Not chaos, I am regretting at the current moment making the return to Windsor... where i would have been safe and secure and surrounded by friends... the battle would have been harder and the opportunities of the last year would not have become anything... but i would have been comfortable.. and happy. I'm not A Martyr For someone Else's bad Decisions, Only my Own. I take full responsibility for those.
Current Mood: Angst, Anger, Depression.
Life isn't stable. Stability is unnatural. The only stable society is the police state. You can have a free society or you can have a stable society. You can't have both. Take your choice. As for me, I'll choose a free, organic society over a rigid, artificial society any day.
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