There are days when I don't know what I'm looking forward to. I am seeing battle's played out before me and All i wonder is what is the final destination, who and what will i have become.. I am aware that someone else is living on borrowed time.. tick tock.... tick tock... but none of that, none of it ever changing is going to give me back the last three years i have lost... and All the time before that, all of the time that was played with, in selfish need for control and games.... just remeber... I may be playing with two pairs in my hand, and this is no longer a game of chess, this is poker, and i'll sit straight faced holding the high cards... meanwhile you're bluffing, you have nothing... I have the Ace's and eight's, the Dead Man's hand. the advantage is mine to lose now. it's time to play the cards and let them land where they will... Do you know what happen's to man a man when his haart still beats and care's for people even tho he has been destroyed completely, where his very soul has been torn out and replaced by a black beating hole? that man get's angrier, darker... and given that i was always dark, i now burn with a black flame... one that will burn you and all that have made this hell possible to the ground... and one day maybe, a little bit of the only light left within me, that little peice of hope, maybe it will return, If not, till then I'll be the angry gunslinger, always ready to fight.. never willing to go down unless you can kill me.. better take your best shot.. oh wait.. you already did, and Failed.
Current Mood: Determined.
Hatred is like a long, dark shadow. Not even the person it falls upon knows where it comes from, in most cases. It is like a two-edged sword. When you cut the other person, you cut yourself. The more violently you hack at the other person, the more violently you hack at yourself. It can often be fatal. But it is not easy to dispose of. Please be careful,. It is very dangerous. Once it has taken root in your heart, hatred is the most difficult think in the world to shake off.
Drama is hate. Drama is pushing your pain onto others. Drama is destruction. Some take pleasure in creating drama while others make excuses to stay stuck in drama. I choose not to step into a web of drama that I can't get out of.
I have hated you in every hour that has gone by, I hate you so that I would happily give my life for your death, and happily go to my own doom if only I could witness yours, take you with me into the depths. When I let this hate free, I am almost overcome by it, but I cannot change this and do not really know how it could be otherwise. Let no one deprecate this, nor fool himself about the power of such hatred. Hate drives to reality. Hate is the father of the action.
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