Skip to main content

Infinite Warfare

War, they say, is the answer of those who have no arguments left.

I'm not going to listen to anyone give me a fucking lecture on what I should and should not do when I'm fucking starving to make sure I have cash for my kids counselling. It will be there, I don't give a damn how in the fuck I get to it, but if you aren't willing to do your fucking job and take care of your end if the deal, don't expect me to keep trying to get blood from a stone... I will always find a way, but that way usually ends up with me in deep debt and with no further uphill than I was before... This is a war of a attrition and it's a war if minor moves, but when someone supposedly on my side is telling me how and when to move... That's not going to go over when there's almost an outright refusal to do anything, and it's been like that for six fucking years, I can't continue to crap out every dime I have to fight this war if I don't have back up and if you're victories stand for nothing... What the fuck is the point? When no one backs my play and I end up with nothing, what's is it all worth? More and more I wonder if I'll ever see my child this side of his 18th birthday... And that hurts, but the war goes on.

People that are a nessicary evil in my life may not stay that way much longer. I should not be looking angrily in a rear view mirror wondering why my life is the way it is. That includes all the fucking agents of a corrupt family law system and the business that fuels them, I'm very disillusioned that I chose this field as my life path, because it's full of deceit and games, at least that's one thing I'm comfortable with when I go back to work, I expect to be stabbed in the back... It comes with the territory.

I am now at a point where i never expect this to end, it's all a series of chess moves to prove the other not the victor, it needs to be about more than that.. a young mans mental state lies in the balance, im sick of the family court industry being exactly what it is... im sick of this war, this final never ending battle, but i am not afraid to fight it, till my dying day or his 18th birthday whatever comes first... I may be fighting a losing battle, but i'm used to it, been doing so since the day i was made aware of his birth. never will he be ever able to say that i backed down or abandoned him, that was all his mothers doing...One day he will know that... I'm still here, standing and fighting for him, even if it costs me everything.

I will never back down, not from you not from anyone...

Current Mood: Determined
Current Music: Avenged Sevenfold,Nightmare

When the bombs fell, it wasn't a war; it was an obliteration. No one had any idea who shot first or why.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me.  I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period. 
Post a Comment
Read more

The Dying False King.

I am a ghost and a spectre in a lot of peoples lives that I have touched. Some I shouldn’t be, and some I have willingly walked away for my own mental health. I’m starting to get to that point with many things in my life agian. I thought it would be easier to live a simple life and just have fun but I think it’s harder than when I worked my face off as a father. At least then my enemies didn’t pretend to be my freinds and the world wasn’t falling apart slowly. Just my world.  I think I prefer whatever that was then compared to what the world is now. I have my own life and adventures and I don’t need anyone that doesn’t want or need to be in my life. I have fun with what I do and don’t let negative sources affect my life. If you’re gonna drag me down, I’ll be gone. That’s how it works.  You’re not going to disturb my fucking peace. That’s what the metal shows are for. That is anger’s release. Plus to have fun. 
Post a Comment
Read more