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Piece of Mind?

There are times when the mind is dealt such a blow it hides itself in insanity. While this may not seem beneficial, it is. There are times when reality is nothing but pain, and to escape that pain the mind must leave reality behind.

I have stopped caring... All the good things in me, the good and true things that make me whole are disappearing... i reach out for help from the medical establishment and all i get are fucking brick walls and the same old nonsense of whatever, let things remain status quo because they can't be bothered with a fucking insect to help, i don't have a drug addiction and i'm not just off the fucking boat so i must not be fucking in need of help... so things will remain exactly as they are... whats the fucking point of reaching out for the help i needed 30 years ago if all i am gonna fucking get is a brick wall.. these assholes in the system raised me and now don't even acknowledge the facts of my life.. and they wonder why i stepped the fuck away from needing or wanting any of their fucking help... I've seen exactly the kind of fucking help the supposedly prescribe.. I don't need or fucking want it.. This whole thing was a means to a fucking end but of course.. I'm not worthy.

Therefore I don't care.. it's as fucking simple as that... i do not fucking care.. it's not about what happens to me anyways... i fought my battles with nothing and I did the right fucking thing for as long as i fucking could... I guess I'm just made to suffer.. maybe it's just fucking time i let the rage, the anger and the darker sides take over.. it's not like i didn't fucking try to be a good person and do things right.. but this bullshit that is my life followed me and followed me.. but the fucking moment i need it even with a stack of fucking paper a mile long i get some joker that can hardly read English translating it a million different ways wrong...

.. maybe i should just give in to anger and hate and hate people it's fucking easier.. it's what I'm damn good at too.. not giving a fuck, and not caring how my actions affect others... at least that way, I might get ahead in this world.

Current Moood: Angry, Depressed.

Insanity is everyone expecting you not to fall apart when you find out everything you believed in was a lie.

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