Wherever I am supposed to be in this life, that place is not here. Not for much longer. I am working towards where I should be, but that is a hell of a gamble too.
I need to do this for me, not for anyone else... we do have loose ends. I’d rather help my family than be arm candy or support someone else who really at the end of it all doesn’t give a damn about me. You and I may Be complicated. But I can live with that, the question is can you? I think you need to do some soul searching and ask yourself that.
I am at a point in my life where unless I attempt to make a major change I am going to remain status quo for the next few years... I have no fucking clue how comfortable I am with that. I’m not comfortable about being old reliable in a fucking crisis every time tho. I don’t know the future and our past is so fucking muddled none of it makes sense... but I feel like I’m just spinning my fucking wheels and watching shit fall apart while I try to maintain the few things in my life I have...
...everything will change. I just have to make it to that moment.
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