I’m not waiting....
I enjoy my life, I enjoy my friends. I don’t need you to find happiness. You are just part of the story, a very small part of the story along the way. You are important given the way our lives have gone but I don’t need you to define me or to be happy.
I do that for myself.
I define myself with actions, not words. I set out to do what I was gonna do this weekend and I did it. I kept my word. You didn’t. That speaks fucking volumes about whose on the level and for who this is just another game.
I had fun. I have good and supportive people around me that I enjoy sharing my life. I always have and I always will. I want you to be a part of that, but I don’t think that you truly want it. It’s probably just a game to you.
That’s ok. I know how to play mind games too.. but after that text, I didn’t think of you once this weekend... I was too busy enjoying the company of my friends and my alcohol and my mini vacation with people who care about me unconditionally.
I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you. I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when. Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...

Comments