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A Fools Errand.



I will never stop trying, even if it leads me to failure. Either this is the most epic thing I will ever do or the most Insane. Either way it needs to be fucking done. I no longer have a choice. I can't do another year of maybe.


I was a good father. I always made this season mean something even when the two of you didn't know a thing. This may be the last year I try to do anything on the grand scale. I know I was a good husband and a good dad. You abandoned me, I never abandoned you, you can never put that guilt on me.  Every action, everything I've done good or bad... I regret none of it. I did the right thing in the moment. Just like I'm doing now... one last chance. One last maybe. But it's time, and it's the right thing.


I don't know if this weekend will amount to anything. But I'm going to fucking try. After this it might few and far between however. I'm willing to try but I'm not something you can discard or continue to destroy. Or pretend like I'm anything more than a back plan and a second choice. I know at this point in game that's all I am. And the fact I know you've always loved me most. We just got complicated as fuck. One day it'll work, but I'm not waiting around for that day. And after this I'm done trying for a very long while.


You know that.


This is one last try. You know my life doesn't reach to you, you've gotta come over to me.


The phone call was made. Offer extended. Merry Christmas.


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