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No Way Home

I am never coming home, ever. I walked away from this place once. I will never fucking return. The fact that it has been 17 years since you kicked me out over the holidays has not been lost on me. I tried, but this was the last attempt. I am fucking done. He's an adult. No more need for you're mind games. No more need to come home. It's not like it would have fucking worked out anyways. There is simply too much time passed, that's all it is... emotions remain but our separate worlds divide us and likely

Always will. 


...as much as I wish that would change. I can't come to you, my life

Doesn't reach that far... it never has. You need to come to

Me, and now more than ever that's going to be the fucking case.... this was the last fucking heartbreak and silent betrayal. You're good at those. Keep it fucking up. Tear that last shreds of my black heart so I become complete void of emotion. It's easier for both of us when I don't care.


The difference is this time if the love goes, so does the anger. Because I let one of those go a very long tome ago. So you are simply left with the love, and if you lose that completely one day, and trust me that day is coming, after this latest silent betrayal there's not much left.


I won't be the one that fucking regrets it.


At least I'm me, I'm fueled by emotions and my bad decisions. And I accept what comes my way good or bad instead of blaming others and playing the victim. An act you are so very good at.


The one thing I am very good at is being raw and honest. The one think you are very good at is being fake and plastic and wearing a mask for those that don't truly know you.


But I am the love of your life, however damaged, I know you heart and soul, I know what hides behind that mask. I just don't know if I want the weight of you're world on my shoulders anymore. No need to.


You need me in you're life a lot more than I ever needed you. But I don't need to be at a distance staring into your life anymore. So I won't be.

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