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The Devil in I

 


I don’t know what I am to you anymore, the one thing I know that I am not the ultimate evil in you’re life and I haven’t been for over a decade, there’s always been something bigger than me lurking, I was just always you’re favourite target because we are a fine balance of love and hate, passion and pain, that’s where we still are now... you can’t decide whether you love or you hate me based on our shared past and the lack thereof of the years we should have had.


At the end of the day my only victory is that you no longer hate me, but I was never convinced that you ever did, I can be the boogeyman when it’s needed, the big scary monster that pushes people away, but as much as I’m the Constant in you’re life, what exactly do you think you are to me? 


The exact fucking same. I am not you’re devil or you’re demon and I never have been. Trust me, if I wanted to be you’re nightmare I could have been.


I am not something you can use as a shiny diamond to taunt others with. I have an interesting life because I choose to. The things I do should and will eventually happen with you, but that’s on you... you need to grow up first. I’m long past this high school shit you are still dealing with.... 


Fucking guy won’t kiss you on the mouth and treats you like shit and I have a ring waiting.... I’m not the fucking one in need of forgiveness anymore and you goddamn well know it... I’m not cruising the gutters trying to replace you.


There is a reason for that.

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