I can’t believe that you’ve actually admitted to the gaslighting behaviour. It’s not an apology but it’s a start. I know that you think about things and you don’t discount everything that is said to you. You are the most interesting person I know and there are things about you I both love and hate. But we are getting somewhere. And maybe things will change. Maybe they won’t.
But our battles are done. And that little bit of validation? I’ll take it.
I’m happy with my little place in life right now, and more importantly at peace. Things my change and I want the two of you in my life more than anything but I’m good where I am right now. I’m waiting on you to figure out the next step. I’m good at waiting. I’ve done it all these years. All I know is I’m happier when you’re in my life and we aren’t as damaged towards us as we used to be.
Niagara Falls is home. With or without you this is my my home. Everything that’s important in my life is here. I need to seriously consider that long term. I’m waiting on you, but I need to face the reality that this is where we should stay.
We might not be happy, but we’ll be happy together. That’s all that matters. And I do like it here.
The only reason I left it because I couldn’t deal with the pain of being so close to you... both fucking times.
This time we will figure it out.. I don’t care if it takes five years or forever.
You aren’t and have never been the worst thing in my life... and I think whatever we have left has value and I think you are worth fighting for.... so I’m going to. That has value too.
Current Mood: Hurting.
Current Music: The Things We Believe In, Orden Ogan
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