There are other battles to fight in my life. It’s time that I start focusing on them instead of pipe dreams. It’s been 4 years of status quo, I scared away the last girl that loved me unconditionally and I’m starting to let someone that I am not devour what little is left of my soul.
I need to put boundaries up with a lot of people in my life even those closest, I can’t continue to be status quo. I’m starting to lose my fucking mind because of other’s selfishness. I walked away from my truest blood and didn’t look back because someone in his life was selfish and narcissistic and wanted to control me. Now that I have my head above water it’s going to fucking stay that way, even if it means abandoning someone I care about.
But this is not the choice I made 4 years ago to play nursemaid for the rest of my life. I don’t mind helping. But it can’t be the only thing that defines me anymore. It’s been two years and it’s just detioratied. Excuses and a lack of respect can only go on so long. I have abandoned those I loved once for a lot less than I have forgiven these last few year years...
For those I truly love and care about and am responsible for I’ll stop being angry and figure things out, because that’s who I am. I don’t have to fight those I love. I want peace in my life. Even if the road gets a little rocky I want things to be solid. I want things to be normal. I’ll will swallow my pride and swallow any grievances because other things are more important.
That’s my life. That’s always been my life.
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