Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

sitting around doing nothing today... ya.. my life is pretty patethic right now.... i wish i could disappear..... it's not like the games are even going to end... what's the point of trying to live a positive viritous life if all that ever happens is that you get slapped in the face? it's time for a lot of changes with my new years resoltuions.... time to stock up on ammunition.... No more Mr. Nice Bones. i'm actually getting to the point where i don't give a shit about anything that's said to me because it's all lies... and games, but being angry about it is Futile. Current Mood: Angry. Current Music: Fear Of the Dark (live), Iron Maiden

i feel like an ostrich... i want to put my fucking head in the sand... everything is useless... i'm not happy... everytime i try and take myself out of the hole i'm in i get filled right back in....my new years resolutions are gonna suck... i mean i'm part of vicous circle of my own creation... i swear between university and this shit hole city and the lack of work i'm gonna end up with nothing... maybe i should just step away from everything and take a few years to become nobody and nothing... it's so much easier to disapeer than to deal with your fucking problems... esp. when people you expect assitance from take their fucking time...(esp. when your paying em.) i came home yesterday full of promise and positive feeling and today i might as well let my head explode... it's like a house of cards... when it fucking rains it pours. Current Mood: Hand me the Shotgun. Current Music: Yesterdays, Guns and Roses.

no I do not accept your proposal... i won't beg for the leftovers. i'm not going to take table scraps so you can extert influnence over me... I did Not do anything wrong.....i've got you in the crosshairs.... and you know it. Current Mood: Pissed off agian.. Current Music: Get In the Ring, Guns and Roses.

yesterday was alright... got a few things i wanted for xmas.. too bad the one i thing i really want these days isn't material at all.

the Absence of negativity does not Reflect any postiveity. current mood: apathetic.

i thought this Holiday couldn't suck anymore... then some idiot offers an opinion without having two cents of Logic... i mean please take my Holiday away... i don't want it... i hate this time of year and with good fucking reason... i'm glad i don't have a fucking tree... it wouldn't go to much use... i have to thank you for that tho... being pissed off at other people is a much better feeling than being depressed and sad over life's circumstances. i mean when people put their foots in the big opinionated mouths without thinking it brings a smile to my face. it get's me right there in the cockles.... maybe below the cockles.... we don't know... anyways whatever... this Holday is gonna suck... worse than Hell with andy Gibb and the bay city rollers..... "We didn't laugh at that bit, Jesus, please!" "Shut up! Get on the bus with Leary and Scorsese. You're going right to fucking hell! Current Mood: Annoyed. Current Music: Diary Of A M

i am not a happy person... i think i'm turning into a lame emo fag... i mean i couldn't sleep last night because of an overdose of caffine and the shit in my head... i spent the night writing poetry and listening to lame 80's ballad... god i suck... in case you haven't noticed i hate this fucking holiday.... Bah humbug.. go fuck yourself... i'm getting real sick about caring about anyone... time to look out for myself... not fucking happy ever. Current Mood: Sad :-( Current Music: Just Lose it, Eminem.

not happy with current state of affiars... i do not let other people dictate the direction of my life... and when i do not know a person even in conversation i do not like them making decisions based on what they think my expectations are.... Current Mood: Annoyed and Pissed Off. Current Music: Minute of Decay, Marilyn Manson.

what kind of fucking Idiot has the ethical integrity of a Gnat when it comes to a sensitive date? people are fucking clueless in this city i swear... thank god i might have a chance to get out of this hellhole city with a job interview in welland today... lousy weekend... broke down crying because of it last night... that botttle of rum in fridge sure looked freindly last night.... it's not fucking fair.. not anymore... i'm sick of the prevailing attitude in st. catherines... esp. yours. sometimes i really wonder what the fuck your motives are... sometimes i don;t know what i'm doing here... wait i know exactly what i'm doing here.. spinning My heels doing exactly nothing... there's only one reason i'm here and you and i both now it... this current distraction will end.. and it has nothing to do with you... i will deal with it... maybe we'll do lunch today... i'll at least have a smoke later... does this sound like unintelligible gibberish? i'm in o

how fucking retarded can you be... please do more fucking damage to my case.... i mean how fucking intelligent is fucking waiting till today to make change... please just hand me the fucking shotgun... i'll shoot myself in the foot... thanks. all i need is another idiot fucking things up for me... i can do a good job of that myself thanks. Current Mood: Hopeful.. but not expectant of change.

i am fucking enraged and pissed off by current devolopments.. just when i think things couldn't get any worse i end up fucked up the ass by someone i trusted.... so what else is new.... i am starting to belive that i should just fucking pack up and leave this city.. i was happier in windsor... shit... i was happier on the streets of toronto without a roof over my head back when i was 17. i am not fucking caring anymore about this world and everything in it... why the fuck should i give a rat ass when everyone i engange in assitance fucks me over... better to just run away from my problems and be a deadbeat dad.. too bad my Mother raised with more fucking backbone than that... thank god for family supports... if not i think my fragile mental state would make columbine look like a video game... i know i would never act upon my anger and urges but goddamnit right now the whole idea of doing it is so tasty.... if i hadn't put mental and pyschic barriers to the subconcious part of m

Who's coming with me? The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell! Here is how you matched up against all the levels: Level Score Purgatory (Repenting Believers) Very Low Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) Very Low Level 2 (Lustful) Very High Level 3 (Gluttonous) Very High Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) Very High Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) Extreme Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics) Very High Level 7 (Violent) Extreme Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) Extreme Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous) Very High Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Xmas and Birthday shopping is done... found the ulitamate toy today for him... TJ bearytales... reminds me of teddy ruxpin from when we were kids... pretty happy.. maybe things are finally coming toggether... slower than expected and it's still a long way uphill... my flu is gone but still has some sniffles and a headache that wont go away.... extra strength tyenol is only helping when i want to sleep... makes me drowsy..... i dunno... happy to be done tho... one more gift that i need to pick up for xmas but thats pretty much already figured out... Current Mood: Content.

it's a fun combanition. fucking lawyer fucking me up the ass... i'm not fucking happy at the moment.. i just want to take off and go back to Windsor... maybe i should just sell off and pack everything up and and Head to L.A. like i wanted to.... fucking world is an ashtray and i'm the ciggarette butt. i can't breathe, smoke, or drink at the moment... and only one thing is preventing me from kicking someones door in at the current moment. i can hardly fucking breathe... sleeping is a fucking chore....i'm watching my whole life go to shit... oh wait.. it can't get any worse than it already was.. maybe i could get myself arrested agian and go on vacation for a while... knowing me they'd declare me insane this time... i wouldn't blame them... of course you're always gonna be the bonnie to my clyde.. too bad you can't see clearly. Current Mood: what part of Pissed off and sick can't you read? Current Music: Unholy, KISS.

could Brantford ever be more boring? at least this week i have lots of time to think.. and might be able to get my guitar from windsor somehow soon.

.. and go figure i have to sit on it until the end of the month because of prior commiments out of town... well at least i get a vacation. Current Mood: Apathy Current Music: Thirteen, Johnny Cash

the weekend sucked... i didn't get anything done.. opened up your old poetry book and tried to remeber a better time when we were both happy.. the reflections only gave me a small sparkle of hope when most of those memories where just misery... we weren't any better off back then... nostaligia counts for shit... i mean the same nightmares i have now i had then.. you only amplified them 100%.. figures... at least back then i was young... now i'm just broken down.... no where to go.. no where to be... and i hate this fucking city. Current mood: Annoyed by the world. Current music: Fall to Peices, Velvet Revolver.

it's friday.. meaning that the same bullshit i've been dealing with for months i have to deal with agian.... this has gotta fucking end soon... i'm losing patience... getting militant agian... so anyways i did good with the website designed 19/25 even if the links don't work. pretty happy now i just wanna finish the exam and be done... hopefully something changes.... a change of scenery next week is gonna do me some good. pretty fucking happy about the homework. spent the night last night cleaning the house... little one's room is prestine agian... i'm gonna leave it be for him.. that's his private space... i just gotta get a DVD player for my room. anyways i'll keep you updated on my weekend.. i don't expect to be in a good mood in the morning... unless there is a god. (which i doubt) Current Mood: Content Current Mood: Bitch's Ain't shit, Dr. Dre

today is a much better day. some buisness deals are going thru as planned. may get my new tattoo sunday... getting rid of crap around the house so i have more room for me and the boy. christmas is coming and everything is looking good... got some interesting things in the can.. hopefully i'll have a job soon.. the whole lousy month is behind me i just gotta get a hold of some of the things i'm doing... should be an interesting month... hopefully by the end of the month things will be better and back to normal. Current Mood: Happy, well as much as i can be. Current Music: Mister Superstar, Marilyn Manson.

this holiday sucks... i am so pissed off and depressed i cannot belive that a phone call would set me off like that but it did... more than i thought it would.. i thought i was prepared for the emotions inside... guess not.

this city is starting to get to me... every day is just like yesterday.. maybe it's time to get moving on agian... it's obvious the longer i stay the longer the stink of st. catherines is going to attach itself to me.. i have absolutely nothing to do here... i hate to say it but i was better off in windsor.. the mindgames weren't so heavy... and what the fuck is up my Lawyers ass... 3 fucking months... time to cause some fucking shit... Current Mood: Fucking annoyed by everything. Current Music: Leaving Las Vegas, Sheryl Crow.

3 fucking months... this is becoming bullshit... guess i'm not going trick or treating tuesday. maybe there is a better solution than lawyers, words and bullshit... Current Mood: Angry, frustrated, Apathy, take yer fucking pick. Current Music: A Change Would DO you good, Sheryl Crow.

i am going insane slowly... i'm fucking miserable here... sue me.

this city is fucking weird...i can't stand it... i ran into the lunatic's X today.. that was an interesting conversation... i mean you gotta love someone who sits on her pc all day while the television is a babysitter. smoking in the house is always a charmer too.

Weird night last night.. some broad asking me personal information i choose not to divulge... fucking lunatics in this city.. only a handful of people know me and then a handful more lunatics think they do.. fucker's can't talk to me.. i'll just clam up.. it's not any of their buisness anyways... people talking like they know me... it's so confusing... i knew this shit would happen when i returned... the mental mindgames continue... i'm starting to remeber why i left this place... i know for sure why i said back then i was never coming back... i'll gaurentee you something tho... i didn't come back for you. Current mood: Confused. Current Music: My Vietnam, Pink.

what a wonderful day... it's pissing rain outside and i have to go to brock to write a fucking paper... so not in a good mood couln't sleeep last night.. having some real nocturanal problems of late.... i mean all this shit in my head and i can't get rid of it.. i worry too much maybe.. i think alot of it is just anger and personal demons brought to the surface because of her. whatever.. i'll deal with it.. same way as always.. just keep pushing thru and doing what's right. fuck her. Current Mood: wet. Current Music: Anarchy In the UK, Megadeth. p.s. i really need to change the songs in my mp3 player.

Baby i hope u got some ammunition your hiding somewhere because i just found out what's been said... i wish i wasn't such a moral person.. if i didn't take such a high moral stance i would rip you to peices... what you said isn't forgivable... what you've done even less so... at least till saturday i could always love you in retrospect now all the love i had for is gone... hatred remains. my love is now reserved for that who he matters most. for you a black hole of apathy.... you sure know how to twist the screws don't you? well this time it won't be the one who has to suffer...welcome to hell... i won't back down this time... and i don't have to. Current Mood: Driven, Hurting and Pissed Off. Current Music: Of Mice and Men, Megadeth

my fucking patince is wearing thin... i came back to a fucking blizzard at 8 am yesterday to deal with this shit.. i was having fun in windsor.. at least it gives me an excuse this week to create some turbulence. it's pretty bad when i want to walk away but know that i can't. is that what you fucking want.. me dead and gone? too bad I'm not built that way... Bitch. Current Mood: Rage Current Music: Megadeth, Youthansia.

I hate the world and everyone in it... Seek and destroy. Current mood: annoyed by my own existance. Current music:Anesthia(pulling teeth)-Metallica.

i am not in a good fucking mood. i just want to take the world and smash it's fucking head in. what can you do when the whole world is agianst you? maybe it's time to give up and stop giving a shit... there's nothing left to look forward to except more infighting... i could fix things easier but the easy way has never been my fucking strong suit...too stubborn i guess... next step whatever...just ride out my life for another month.. another year... whatever... Current Mood: Fucking Pissed.

so much going on.. it's getting confusing... i guess it's better than the staus quo of the last few fucking months of doing absolutley nothing... it can only get better before it get's any fucking worse... things are looking up.. if that is true why am i still fucking miserable? at least i've forcefully laid down some roots here and i have support that i thought nonexsistant.. will have to see what tommorow brings... Current Mood: optimistic. Current Music: Born in the USA, Bruce Springsteen.

spinning my heels agian.. at least things are looking up.. hopefully a major life change is around the corner soon... have to go to windsor monday... i will very happy if things go right this week and next.. looks like we are going to court and war agian tho. i don't know what to think and/or who to trust at the current moment.. the only people i love/trust unconditionally right now is family...and the little one... everyone else probaly has their own fucking agenda and i don't know if i want to deal with them, Current Mood: betrayed.

it's the big fucking 3-0 folks time to enter middle age.. have i mentioned that all my heros are posuers or dead? morrision, joplin, cobain, hendrix and sid vicous i've fucking outlived them all... i have a right to be bitter with the nothinhgness that my life has accomplished... it's 2 am and i'm sitting alone in a cold house house deviod of any fucking emotion... burning red fire in my eyes... when i look at the duplicity of the one i thought i truly loved and her constant barrages of razor sharp knifes in my back.. it confirms something... nothing in this world is ever truly tangible... it all dies... it's just a slow burn some fucking times... happy fucking birthday Nicholas, hope you're next one finds you in better spirits... ....or at the end of a noose. current mood: if i told you i wanted to go to toronto and buy a gun, would you belive me? current music: Coma White, Marilyn Manson

i cannot honestly belive that it's been six years since i met you... i'm fucking cursed... i didn't feel like posting this weekend because i was depressed maybe in a perfect world things are fucking diffrent but here there just a big pile of dogshit.. it's not even worth living in this shithole fucking city.. everything has fucking changed i'm not the person i used to be and neither are you... we are older, angrier and more bitter... it's surprising.. i thought the angry young man i before i met you was the most angry person i had ever been.. now there's anger and also bitterness... it fucking sucks.. you've taken almost all of my drive to suceed away.. now i think i'm just going thru the motions to make sure that what is important to me stays cared for.. the continuing stabbing in the back and mental mingames are to be expected.. it's all you've ever done.. you're quite fucking right... you should have left me on that street corner... w

Hate is a strong fucking word but it all i can feel right now. i'm pretty pissed off... i'm make fucking sacrifices for people and it's not fucking appericated... i love being stabbed in the back constantly by someone i used to fucking love... the games are over.. i am going to take this back to the next fucking level.. this time i'm not gonna hold my toungue... all your dirty fucking secrets and your behaviors are going to come out... i have no reason to protect you or your fucking family anymore... soon you might know what it feels like to constantly have the knife in and out of your back for doing the right thing.... current mood: fucking hostile.

there is nothing here in this city anymore... i am only here for one reason .. even old habit's no longer interest me.. can someone explain to me why i feel this way? it's just another day before the end.. wonder what tommorow will bring... current mood: dispossesed.

if you had a relationship, just because you don't live with that person anymore doesn't mean they're a non-human being. if someone's been a part of your life, that part of your life can neither erased nor forgotten. -from the tao of Willie (Nelson)

... and this weekend couldn't get any fucking better. i am in a really fucking bad mood and things just keep looking worse and worse all the time... seems everything i try and do these days turns to fucking shit... wonder why i bother fucking trying at all anymore.. everything i do in this life ends up with me hitting a fucking brick wall.. this fucking blows... maybe it's time to do something drastic. anyone got a noose? just kidding i'd never do something like that or would I? only the people that really fucking know me know the answer to that... and at this time i'm not sure who if anyone i can trust... current mood: betrayed.

why does today feel like i'm just waiting for something to happen? i'm getting sick of waiting on people to call me for jobs.. why does it feel like everything in my life is happening in reverse right now? boredom is killing me... i need to get out and have some fun.. maybe next week. current mood: Apathetic.

i'm bored and i miss windsor... i have sacrificed a lot but i don't know what the fucking next step is... feels like i'm just cooling my heels waiting for tommorow.. maybe the st. catherines return was a mistake... i feel old habits returning... maybe i should get motivated agian and do something... Current Mood: Apathetic.

why are all the women in my life that i end up having long term relationships Leo's? i'm pretty fucking sure Leo's and virgo's are physcially, emotionally, and intellucually incompatibatable but i love them anyways.... ridiculous... maybe i should read some astrology to see why both of the long term girls have ended disatrously .. it's gotta be something in the stars.. i used to belive in fate and soulmates but now i'm not so sure.. on the other hand.. it's funny.. on the 13th i was too busy thinking about the one with the the birthday coming up on the 22nd than the girl i left behind... i had almost forgotten that it was her birthday until someone mentioned it... but it did get me thinking.. both of the most important partners in my life since adolocence have been leo's... i wonder if there's a reason for that.. maybe god is mocking me... anyways.. no big deal.. i have things to do.. don't need to think about it forever... it's making my hea

back to my regular efforts of wasting time in an effort to find a job. had to clean up my place and was tired so i stayed in yesterday. but tis ok.. i have a job interview at robert land academy. hopefully i get the job. military setting working with deliqwuent kids.. that wouldn't be so bad... gonna have to get the monkey suit out of mothballs tho. things are looking up in my life... hopefully everything continues to go well... i guess making a major change in status quo really shook some fucking heads up. it defintly knocked me for a loop. current mood: still glowing from the weekend.

or how the one eyed skeleton became scuba steve... i have had an awesome weekend... we are runnign around the library right now,i think between aladdin and pooh i have had all the disney for a while... but we had a really good time and i kept him well fed and he didn't get bored... that thomas table was a stroke of genuis. anyways.. short report today as we have things to do... talk to you later and/or tommorow. current mood: exheedingly happy.

can you guess why that it is? i am having an awesome morning... everything seems to be going right with the world today... it's an awesome feeling. all of life's little problems seems to have faded away.. for the long weekend at least. Current Mood: Awesome.

it's one of those goddamn days... nothing could have went right for me yesterday except one thing... why does one step forward end up being two steps right back into the same fucking hole i've been crawling out of my hole life... any time i try and fucking accomplish shit i end up with my face in the sand.. i'm so frustrated i think it's time to give up and maybe find a new direction.. Current Mood: fucking frustrated.

just because i'm happy and being nice to you doesn't mean i trust you... i got what i wanted for the near future but you are predictable... i've seen your behavior before... but ya.. i'm pretty fucking happy with my plans for the long weekend... things are coming along nicely.. somethimes a drastic change to fuck up the status quo is what's needed... it get's people to reevaluate things and grow the hell up.. plus in the long run it's the right decidion maybe if i had done it sooner and held my ground around some of the people i claim to care about and vice versa it would have been an intersting if not better last two years. but today.. is a good day... Current Mood: Happy.

i feel like fucking ranting about everything and nothing today.. obviously my life is so pathetic i have nothing to do but plan it a few weeks ahead of time and pester people that actually might be doing the right thing for once.. but that concept would never fuckin occur to me.. i don't have the intelligence for it... not all of us have the summer off... i'm fucking busy.. leave me alone. man i fucking hate it when people waste my time. have a nice day everyone. current mood: Annoyed.

i'm busy.. get over yourself. i'll get back to you when i have a minute to breathe.

you don't change the shit you've pulled by putting together a nice little email and pretending like you didn't fuck me over. you have responsibilties as do I. i'm trying to do the right thing and i don't appreciate you playing fucking games. i don't answer to you... and i make my own rules. this isn't about either one of our selfish desires... as soon as you realize it's gotta be about something more maybe we will have peace between us but i doubt it.. you are too fucking immature. i used to think love was a good thing... The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy also talks about love. It says, "Avoid if at all possible." current mood: Fucking shitty.

it's a better day a few hours later.. actually talking to the people that can help you instead of people who are just middle men... dealing with people like that can drive you insane... being honest with the right people is a better way of dealing with everything. current mood: Happier.

nice to see how even when i get everything together i'm getting fucked over by authority.. why the hell did i come back to this shit hole city? there's nothing fucking here... it's a black hole of despiar.. i hate it.. might as well face facts tho.. there's nothing else out there anywhere for me to be these days.. gotta do the right thing and hope it all works out. at least this time around there's some fucking prospects for employment here... Current Mood: Annoyed.

esp. lawyers and the court houses... it seems i'm going around in circles with these fuckers... no one wants to give me an answer.. fucking retarded.. there are other ways of dealing with things.. but fuck it... i'm trying to do the right thing... really getting to the fucking point where i want to give up.. and having these roadblocks in my way after everything i've been through really pisses me off. Current Mood: Hostile.

closing down your blog because of me... how cute.. you're fucking amusing... get a fucking life... i am a part of your life whether or not you or I fucking like it... you can't post and cry and whine because of me.. you're a paranoid little bitch who needs to stop thinking about yourself and stop playing the spoiled little daddies girl and do what's right for who's really important... of course you and growing up are two mutaually exclusive terms. whatever, go fuck yourself, i was sick of yer internet whine fests anywhere. Current Mood: happy

...was a good day. guess who i ran into @ the mall? anyways things are looking up.. looks like i'm staying in st. cath for the duration woo hoo...it's gonna be good. i wouldn't rule out a return to court in the near future however.. contempt sucks, Current Mood:Optimistic.

this latest turn of events isn't surprising but is cruel and unusual... i cannot wait to see how things follow thru.. i don't like mindgames, i never have.. i am straightforward and i'm still getting fucked over. you know for everything positive i try and do in this world i go two steps back, maybe it's time to go back to a 1994 mentality and only care about myself.. it would probaly work out better for me... wish i was still that person but i'm not. there are responsibilties now... but i'll deal with them, i made a big change in my life for a reason and i'm gonna kick some ass this summer.. better now than let it drag me down for another year. Current Mood:Pissed.

a job at niagra college?? dream come true.. i had to applied.. pretty sure both jobs i applied for today in niagra will get me call backs... one working at niagra would fucking rule awesomely... 2. the other job i applied for ain't bad either and my Published material would probaly assist in that endevor... added my published peice to my resume today.. man i rule. Current Mood:Very Optimistic. Current Music:Godsmack, Speak.

everything changes tommorow... i'm done for good.. i can't wait to move... patched up with an old freind and i can't wait for a responce, i'm assuming your not going to be happy. Current Mood:optimistic. Current Music:Headstones, Cemetary

It requires more courage to suffer than to die, Napoleon Bonaparte sitting around studying... everything is about to change within a week.. i have successfully kept my anger under wraps but this time i am ready for full fledged war.. this summer is gonna end up being very fucking interesting... only the caustious general picks his battles.. it's time to start breaking some of the rules.. after all i'm not the only one that does... i won't miss windsor... and it looks like niagra is where' it's at... there's something important there... it means more than both generals personailtys and their clashes... your conspircacy of silence will only hurt you and him in the end. you can hurt me now but i'm not giving up or dying away... read the quote. in the long run you only hurt that which is most important... and my headspace will be fine.. once i wrap it around you. so i've been listening to 977 htz fm on the interweb lately.. gotta get back into old habits...t

finally maybe i should give some positive information to this. almost graduated unimaversity.. finally.. finished yet another poetree book.. starting to get some firm plans of what the non fiction books are going to look like... spent the night looking for apts. and jobs on the interweb... things are looking up.. less pissed off than earlier... i just gotta get thru the next few week anyways,on a related note metallica has a new album coming out.. maybe it's time to kick there asses with my own band. st. cath and/or hamilton looks promising. maybe i'll actually do something musically this time... forced to grow roots in places you don't want to sucks. Current Mood: hmmm Current Music:Twisted Sister, We're not Gonna take it.

welcome to your game... this time i'm gonna play by the rules and fucking destroy you. it's too bad your so fucking selfish.. it's not each other we are hurting.. but your fucking clueless... that's ok somethings are coming together.. i will have a better leg to stand on if i get this job and aptment i want in hamilton. never thought i'd want to return to the old neighborhood i grew up in but why the hell not... really starting to think about the books i want to write.. it will keep my mind occupied after university. Current Mood: unsatisfied. Current Music: Sympathy for the Devil. Guns and Roses

why do i bother trying anymore... i fucking give up.. i think i'm gonna take this summer and find myself seeing how everyone around me is so supportive... not. maybe i'm thinking lately i've made a mistake but whatever no looking back, no regrets, fuck em all. Current Mood: angry agian. Current Music:Rush, The Spirit Of Radio.

not in the greatest of moods.. i cannot wait for this month to be over.. another job interview friday... this weekend will hopefully be uncomplicated. not sure what i'm feeling right now.. i mean everything in the last 4 years is finally @ an apex.. but i sacrificed so much for it.. and the people i really thought that would be there for me aren't. whatever, i'll be fine. looks like this job in hamilton will turn out that would be cool. just pissed off and a ball of emotion.. midterm stress maybe.. thankfully they're all done.. one more set of exams end of the month and then i'm done. goodbye windsor.. i'll keep you updated. Current Mood: Hated. Current Music:Styx, Renegade.

it's nice to wake up beside someone you care about.... had an exam at 830 i think i did alright at.. i'm feeling better.. less angry today... but it still stings. Current Mood: less pissed off. Current Music:Hit the lights, Metallica.

why does when one aspect of my life seem to be improving everything else turns into a total fucking shitstorm? maybe it's time to walk away.. maybe it's time to use my fist and not my mouth... you can get a lawyer when yer in jail right? fuck the systems of control. i am getting to that point... why should i care anymore.. no one else does... In my hour of need Ha [no] youre not there And though I reached out for you Wouldnt lend a hand. Through the darkest hour Grace did not shine on me Current Mood:Red HOT Anger.

how can one relive pressure when they are extremely pissed the fuck off? i can't fucking sleep on concentrate on anything.. i mean... man.. all i want to do is rip her fucking head off... i swear one day i will develop three alternate personailties based on the amount of control it takes to without both emotions of sorrow, sadness and ANger fueled rage all simoutanouesly... i really want to smash something or someone right now.. anyone want to volunteer to be my fucking wall and/or punching bag? Current Mood: Even Angrier....is that possible? Current Music:I Love The Dead, Alice Cooper.

you have brought this upon youself, this time i'm not fucking holding back, everything i can use agianst you i'm going to.. this isn't a game... an innocent is in danger courtesy of yer mechanations... no more games.. no more bullshit... this time everything comes out, yours and mine, i have nothing to hide.. you i wonder about. and this time i'm not backing off. thank god i look awesome in my Suit, i looked awesome on friday at the job interview... i'll look even better in court agianst you, i hope you get a fucking lawyer this time. Current Mood: FUcking hostile. Current Music:Sharp Dressed man, ZZ Top.

Sexsesful weekend downtown, don't worry i'm not one to kiss and tell, god i love having the apartment to myself. this long weekend is turning out tres cool, saw some cool thing's at walmart i may pick up in brantford later, esp the basketball net. got a 76'er's jersey at the mall cheap yesterday and a blue jays sweater pant outfit but that's not for me... starting to look really forward to the next step... never thought i would say this but i am gonna miss windsor and my freinds here tho... but whatever.. onward and forward... no telling what tommorow will bring, Current Mood: Hopeful. Current Music: I don't know, Ozzy Osbourne.

yes, indeed, you were saw online. can't hide can you. ignorance is bliss. stupidity is futile. i go on with my life without you anyways. you only affect my plans with your negativity... it's nothing i can't handle... i'm going to go lose myself within the wind downtown tonight... my new freinds are reminding me who i really am, and who i'm about... who used to to think like me and want to be free... now you want to be a square peg in your round hole... your choice.. i'm gonna still be me and try and go back to who i used to be.. i liked him better. Current Mood: determined. Current Music: Neil Young, After the Gold Rush.

i won't miss waiting on loans... i can't wait for school to be over... several old freinds are in classes so shouldn't be to problematic to pass and get out of this hell hole. guess which bar i'm living nearby for the next 6 weeks? have the house free to myself for the long weekend... it's so obvious i don't belong here anymore, there's nothing left for me to do in windsor but say goodbye... hopefully this weekend is a good one for busking... i hate cold. i hate the dead time between weekends. Current Mood: Apathetic. Current Music: Ohio, CSN&Y

got into the class i need and will be graduating finally this summer... so happy. things are looking up.. living on the other end of town now... somewhat happy even if i had rough weekend.. there were reasons for that... no big deal.. everything will work itself out.. somehow. Current Mood: energetic but stressed from recent events. Current Music: Surrender, Cheap Trick.

just chilling out enjoying my weekend.. having lots of fun.. my little man made a playmate at the park last name.. she was 3.. it was cute to watch em together. maybe he needs a little sister. watching cartoons on treehouse and hanging out drinking milk.. Cars rule... he was watching nascar with my dad last night... he likes dinosuars... i can't wait to move down to st. cath.. i miss him so much when he's not here.

why do freinds have to turn into overbearing assholes? you could at least treat me without a little respect bud instead of shitting all over me.. you know i have other things on my mind... ah hell that's the end of another freindship... one less reason to go back to st. catherines... so far no bites from anyone down there job wise anyways. not sure what the next step is.. i can honestly say i am bored and want to go back to university next week i can't wait.. at least my freinds in windsor aren't total leeching fucking assholes that don't appericate anything that is done for them, but that's the metality of niagara go figure... there's only one person there important to me and he's too innocent to be involved in what is going on with her... who has been way too busy this week and last to return a call or an email.. which is fucking fine... she can kiss my ass. i'll remeber this when she needs a handout. current mood: miserable, agian.

another day.. time to advantage of this time off and hit the old hand and foot express with mr. guitar.. should be nice.. explore ontario and maybe quebec.. wouldn't mind hitting vancouver and victoria but i don't think i have the time.... pesky little thing called responsibilties... so if i'm immcummunacado for a week you know where to find me.. some town, some corner... should be an interesting vacation..need some time to myself...unlike some ot Her 's i do know my first best destiny. Current Mood:hopeful of tommorow's mysteries. Current Music: Wanted (Dead or Alive), Bon Jovi.

it's so nice to have someone so concerened yet ignorant.. yes.. indeed... the smoking pissed me off... show's your maturity... 12 years old going on mid 30's. that's ok.. finalized the move and made plans for the summer... i have it all under control... more than i can say for you... i know where i'm going eventually... i am just not sure how or when i'll get there...

what public school classroom did you find him in? nice to see the maturity as you fill your lungs with cancer. real fucking mature.. not. and i wonder whose the better person? i know i am. it's interesting to see what yer fucking priorities are and i'm pretty fucking sure they ain't what they should be. thanks for the phone calls.... till today i was convinced that there might be a peaceful resoltion to internal turmaiol between us but now i am convinced this cold war is only just beginning... i quickly tire of your attempted one upmanship... you should understand it doesn't affect me.. there is a self defense mechanism enabling ignorance...i only see or feel what i want to... hurts for a little while i let off steam and i'm done... you only affect me when i want you too.. my life is too intoxicating and confusing to let you affect it thoroughly. u only affect me through implied responsibilty.. one i am only to happy to enjoy. it's clear to me who is the grown

nuff said. Current Mood: amazingly loved Current Music: Smokin in the Boys Room, Brownsville station.

can we be any more miserable? i love when people play games and leave things till the last minute and decide to make fucking demands. this is a great coda to my week off.. new girl and really enjoying myself and looking forward to this weekend and having someone try and set my off on route was not fun.. i mean hanging out with someone of similar age has really opened me up to she who shall not be named's immaturity. i'm really enjoying hanging out with my new girl... maybe i'll stay in windsor now and just trek down here on the weekend. Current Mood:Miserable, just like you. Current Music: Spirit of Radio, Rush.

so I guess I am apperently the self proclaimed Punk Rock King of Windsor Ontario as i was informed last night by someone. it should be interesting to see if anyone rembers me in St. Catherines. maybe i'll stop playing guitar completely and just drink my face and wallet off every weekend instead.. nah i'm way more responsible than that. it's going to be weird leaving here.. i know everyone Downtown here and have so many freinds in this city and so many contacts... i have a couple good freinds in Niagra but not as many as here.. thanks to She who shall not be named i burnt a lot of fucking bridges down there.. then agian she's not important.. i have the best reason for returning to the golden horsehoe ever... the next generation.. more important now than any of my petty alliances or goals. Current Mood:tired Current Music: Black Hole Sun, Soundgarden.

nothing like being ignored... such a great feeling. it's raining outside.. wet. it could be worse i could be travelling. it's nice to see people play games as usual. nothing more to say here tonight. Current Mood: angry. Current Music: nothing.

guess you have nothing better to do than play mental mindgames.. that's ok i will remeber this and everything else anytime that you ask me for a fuckin' favor... i don't like sitting and stewing for 2 days. you could at least acknowledge me.. of course i'm beneath you aren't I? too bad i'm busy pulling myself high above you to care. i can always entertain myself with my interesting life i haven't settled into a groove the way you seem to have.. i can explore and do whatever i want.. the future is open to me.. unlike you i'm not tied to one area and one set of ideas. Current Mood: Pissed Current Music: Whiplash, Metallica.

never got downtown. waiting on an email. had a couple of good conversations tonight. went and got food and then come back to the lab to talk to my peeps. really starting to get used to the idea i'm no longer tied to my academic obligations. ... and you know what that means? if i'm not working i have no life. how sad is that? never thought my own laziness would inspire me to get my ass employed asap. of course then again the last time i was in this position i had no responibilties and was a much younger man.. i've mellowed out some.. instead of being an angry young man i've become an angry and bittter thirty something. im am aware that i'm getting older and that some of my best days are behind me. now it's just time to make the best of the days left. no regrets, no hesitation into going into what happens next.. even if it is a mystery and confusing as hell. Current Mood: Annoyed Current Music: David Bowie, Space Oddity.

no more video collection for me.. time to really get into dvd's. sold the rest of today's collection at dr. disc.. made 40 bucks for the last box of em.. better than moving em. it's weird not having anything to do i've been working so hard for the last few months and it's like i don't know what to do with myself now. maybe i'll take the guitar out for a few hours tonight and catch a flick. who knows. really hoping this weekend comes through. Current Mood: Bored. Current Music: Two Steps Behind, Def Leppard.

time for the next step. doesn't feel like it should. kinda deflated. started the job search last night. should be an interesting next few weeks... at least i'm not completely self absorbed... someone recently is making it apparent to me in his eyes how fleeting material things are unimportant and i own everything i ever will.. being there and having the education to guide him has been more important than anything else i could have given him.. too bad the selfish one has yet to realize the damage that she's caused and done... of course then agian i don't have to face that person in the mirror. she does. Current Mood: slothful and lazy Current Music: This Love, Pantera.

english history exam is done and i got a good mark on the churchill war paper. i rule. tommorow is really starting to poke itself out of the clouds. one more day and it get's interesting hoping this weekend plans are fuffiled. i'm in a really good mood first time in a while usually my mondays are filled with dread of spending time alone agian. but i realized that no matter whatever anyone else is doing i'm still following my path altered as it was. I am succesful and i have fuffilled most of my goals and no one can take that away from me even tho there's been some turmoil. i have one job left to do that is important and thats a lifetime commiment. if i can accomplish that every goal in my life is fuffiled.. and i have no intention of failing at it. one more day and onto the next step.... Current Mood: Can't You see me smiling ear to ear? Current Music: All Tommorow's Parties, Velvet Underground.

man today was fun, went to see ice age 2.. god i love denis leary.. hehehehe.. great weekend.. last one for the day bs. can't wait for the weekends. so i'm hit5chiking to hamilton after it's time leave and i get a ride from a guy with an illonois licence plate headed out to fucking toldeo ohio, score. saved me 40$ and 5 hours... i should be on a bus right now.. karma's a good thing.. why hate someone when she's just trying to fuck with my mental balance. i just think positive and that makes me a better person. fuck negativity.. the'res only one thing that matters as long as he's happy i don't give a fuck.. superman ball's rule. pretty good easter i enjoyed it. all moved couple exams left.. i thought everything would change this week but i am sadly mistaken but that's a good thing... now if i can just figure out how to get rid of this pesky furniture and vsh tapes lol anyone want some? Current Mood: Positive. Current Music: Break on Through, Doors

the big moves tommorow. asked for easter dinner but i'm doubtful. who really cares anymore.. it's time for things to start agian.. this painful divorce from university into the great unknown is only burdended by your miserable bullshit. hopefully your nice enough to do me a favor if not that proves what kind of person you really are and i'm not. Current Mood: exhausted but hopeful of tommorow Current Music: This Love,Pantera.

wow.. can you be any more of a loser? Girl is right... this is why you'll never find yourself a man to settle down with... too busy playing with the boys. i graduate soon... and i'm having fun dealing with your mindgames.. i prefer the conspiracy of silence i use on you.... and if you were hoping to really articulate something to me at the moment i'm sure it would fall on deaf ears.. i'm still seeing red... too bad i haven't let you know that yet... maybe i should send you an email and re-open hostilities between east and west. Current Mood: determined.

i don't think i could be more pissed off than i am right fucking now.... thank god i have cigrattes... another brutal mind fuck playing games... if you want me back in your amble bosom just fucking say so.. i can see what your playing at. i hate when people try to control me it doesn't work. it just pisses me off more. STOP PLAYING FUCKING GAMES!!!! and maybe one day this will work with what it has evolved to. right now, theirs only one thing important and it's not you.. maybe if you took your spoiled ass and got your head out of the fucking clouds where you seem to live in delusional reality you could come and hang out with the rest of us homosapiens for a little while. Stop pretending and grow the fuck up.. how old are you now? we ain't kids anymore. there's something called responsibilty. Location: A Very Angry Place. Current Mood: i'm fucking pissed off (what did you think?) Current Music: Guns N' Roses - Estranged

another day another boxed packed... tommorow isn't as clear to me as it once was.. having some doubts about leaving school. fucking almost 30 and what have i accomplished? an ex-wife? a shitload of an education with a 100 grand price tag? where am i going? who do i want to be? i guess it's time i started to grow up i'm starting to realize that.. maybe i should have when i was younger.. feeling angrier colder inside... nothing left to focus on.. only one bright light.. and that will never ever be taken away from me by anyone no matter how hard you try... where should I go? who should I be? I just don't know anymore. location: uwindsor computer lab. Current Mood: pensive.... Current Music: 18 and Life, Skid Row.

it's the only word that describes you. 2 weeks till final exams. guess my life's in for a big change agian.. ever have the feeling that their are some things you wouldn't mind doing over if you had the chance?

almost half done... can't wait to finish this.. frustrating... looks like i'm staying in town till friday. overload of homework.. tis ok.. i'm gonna fuck around most of next week. there is a certain feeling knowing that both this and the winston churchill project will be done and done well even if i have to take the extra day. doesn't affect little man much probaly gonna go in afternoon friday to brantford.. or something. Current Mood: exhausted Current Music: Metallica, The House That Jack Built.

yet another fun weekend filled with a shitload of homework.. i will not miss university.. but i'm getting better at it at all the time. got a few bucks in my pocket and by next week will have a lot more. packing up boxes and getting ready to leave the shithole i'm living in? tommorow might bring something new who knows... i was looking thru old emails today and i'm convinced that even back then you were insane which explains everything... hopefully the genetics swing in my favor and he's not a total nutjob when he grows up. Current Mood: determined Current Music: Skid Row, 18 and Life.

tell me how to feel... teach me how to hate... you do it so well. it figures this song's on MSn radio right now. Current Mood: Pissed Current Music: David Bowie, Ziggy Stardust.

had a good time went to the cn tower with some freinds from england... was scared shitless but it was fun.... curious george on sunday in st. cath, he fell asleep in my arms just like he used to... good movie.. will have to buy him it on dvd.... tired.. gonna sleep on the bus home and back to the dreck of homework... i cannot wait to be done with windsor... maybe i should look into moving back to toronto... hasn't changed much but maybe i do need a change of scenery.. actually thinking maybe that one of the two great loves of my life might have a change of heart one day.... more like positive thinking.. there's so much simmingering hatred and bitterness right now.. but sometimes a bright spot... but i'm not doing it for her.. anything i do.. only for him.... just a little lost in a lot of thoughts.. was nice to have a change of scenery.

i got exactly everything that needed to be done last night. unlike you i don't spin my heels and waste my time.... i just wish i could use my magic to make you disapeer. Current Mood: blah Current Music: Iggy Pop,Raw Power.

you know i'm really enjoying my weekends in windsor. up all night and sleeping all of saturday enjoyable. guess i gotta make the most of it while i still have the oppurtunity. did i mention how much i love pissing people off? and hitting on girls downtown? so who do i look like? mm dinner... must be nice... didn't think they had a kids menu.... tis ok.. i'll actually go somewhere where i don't have to deal with adults next time i get paid.... Current Music: Def Leppard, Let's get Rocked.

good weekend... but the coda sucked... last time i do anyone i don't like a favor... had a blast playing with dinosaurs on the farm however... he's a natural talent get's it from both his father and mother... loves being on stage and hammming it up.... plays the keyboard and piano at home she said... yes we actually had a conversation.... i'm thinking i'm gonna pick up a good keyboard for both of us to use when i move to st. cath. Current Mood:exhausted.. it's been a long couple of days.... Current Music: Dio, Rainbow in the Dark

what a long week.. slept maybe 3 hours all week.. i was exhausted.. glad that mid terms are over.. 2 months to go.. going to take my week off to do homework and so introspective time as well as packing... absolutly don't want final exams to be that horrible... my head feels like it's going to explode and that's after 17 hours of sleep.. i'm gonna get real freindly with my television and my dvd player for the next few days.. need some time to let my mind wander. Current music: Slayer: Chemical Warfare Current Mood: overtired and less exhausted than yesterday.

great weekend... last one full of bullshit and intereference for a while... he was happy.. finished off our pizza.... i got one slice... was tired but survived... happy to be home and be going into midterms.. looking forward to tommorow.. huge wieght off my shoulders now that i don't have to tiptoe around the subject with my monster... hopefully soon the two will meet and my ego will dwindle in comparison. current mood: happier than i've been in a long time current music: breadline, megadeth,

great time at the horshosoe. affter affects not so mgood.. starting to deal with multiple personality in head.. mybe this where bones truly belongs... tired.. sobering up me i likey coffee... it's been a long day.. less angry then i was yesterday.. hurting.... stabbbed in the back by an olive branch agian. who the fuck is cheif and what the fuck is his good energy? quit playing games.

why does someone always have to... turn a negative into a positive.. i swear .. i'm getting really fucking depressed pissed off i don't know how to feel.. so sick of trying... i try and be nice and get it shoved back into my face. why bother? why care? anger is so much easier to deal with. current mood: Fucking Hostile... Deal with it.

sat around waiting for next weekend.. because it's actually important... did some homework and enjoyed the snow.. (i hate snow) who the fuck is Ice-t? Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: silence

There once was a Dad who had a child and, though no fault of his own, got divorced. "Who will help raise this child?" asked the mother. "I will", said the Dad. "We won't unless we get paid lots of money," said the big red daycare. "We won't let you unless Dad pays us lots of money," said the big red family responsibility office. "We won't let you unless you pay us lots more taxes," said the big red tax department. "I won't but if you pay me lots of money, I will drag it through court until your money is all gone," said the big red lawyer. "I won't," said the big red judge. "I won't" said the big red politician. So the little Dad paid, but they still didn't let him raise his child. He was sad and blue. But the child, also sad and blue, grew up with problems. The blue child asked, "Who will help me with my homework in high school? Who will help me resist drugs, gangs, violence

You Are Bobsledding You're not a world class athlete, but you are a world class maniac. Your need for speed could have you blazing past the finish line! What Winter Sport Are You?

man sometimes an overload on university papers can wear someone out.. and next week it's all about midterms... ah hell 3 months left and then i'm done... freedom is looking pretty interesting to me right now.. i might actually have time to write interesting things agian... not to mention being out of school will be an entirely new adventure wish i could share it with you.. but you are responsible for the knife you keep pulling in and out of my back. Current Mood: determined Current Music: Limp Biskit, No sex.

tonight's going to be a very boringly interesting night.... hopefully i can figure it all out before the head explodes.. any suggestions? current mood: motivated. current music: Die by the Sword, Slayer.

i hate winter.. i hate long bus trips... i miss being close to you.. whatever that means.. Current Mood: tired, i just got off a fucking bus Current Music: I'm Eighteen, Alice Cooper.

i don't know how i should feel right now... sorry... Current Mood: Confused i guess?? Current Music: Lamb of God, Hourglass

i wouldn't grace yer presents if you were the last woman left alive... Current Mood: bored Current Music: Criminal, Eminem.

a new sensation.. one i don't totally understand.. all the chips are falling into place.... Current Music: Silent Lucidity, Queensryche.

today i got a sign that everything i'm planning is right... job interview next friday nigara falls.. sometimes it's good to go home... these are the things that matter.. nothing else.. follow your heart and do the right thing.. in that rest self assured... Current Music: You Could be Mine, GNR

good riddance to bad rubbish.. trust no one.. cuz i know yer lying... and the only person that wouldn't be able to do california is yourself...you'd lose yourself.. whatever is left of you... you've stripped yourself so bare do you really know where your soul is anymore? you're so embroiled in the darkness i can't find you anymore.. how can you find yourself? Current Music: The Headless Children,W.A.S.P.

looks like i'm doing some kind of hamilton centric project for this stupid hitory project... well it's the place i know the history of best... might as well do something there or lundys... the teacher is kinda of a putz.. remind you of any other teacher's we know? lots of good looking girls tho.. big boobies... enjoying my patheticx little life.. starting to move crap towards st. cath... can't wait to get out of this shithole city and back to another shithole city... i guess this is enufff rambling for one day... Current Mood: Go Fuck Yourself. Current Music: the trees(live), Rush.

had a good weekend away.. no tantrums this time.. we hung out and he got xmas present's late.. never seen a happier kid... had pizza... well he had pizza i had crust.... note to self.. buy a bag of pepporni's next time.... hung out with joe it was alright... i think i'm really gonna like living in st. cath this time.. hobby shop for trains downtown and a comic book store with a huge quarter bin... should be cool and will keep my intrests high.. i never bothered exploring the city the last time.. distracted... should be an interesting year... Current Mood: Really Fucking Happy (first time in a long time) Current Music: Coma, Gun's And Roses.

still waiting on my loan.... doesn't seem like i can catch a break this week.. hopefully my loan will come in tommorow and all will be good in the world.. i'm getting really sick of noodles and soap.. gotta buy groceries and spending all my time at the university and watching movies becuz i have nothing better to do... man my life has taken a decidely boring turn of late.. but that's probaly a good thing.. time to grow up...material things are meaningless... they just end up being thrown away... Current Mood: not happy Current Music: Hallowed be My name, Alice Cooper.

i did i'm much happier now.. when you face the bleak face of the other half of thirty and stop pretending to be 17 maybe then you'll face responsibilty and stop playing games... Current Music: Dust and Bones, Gun's and Roses.

i feel like taking a hatchet and chopping some skulls off at an amusement park... weary soul.. lying cocksucker... Current Mood: pissed off and Hungry Current Music: Used to love Her, Gun's and Roses.

Only yesterday they told me you were gone All these normal people, will I find another one? Monkey on my back, Aching my bones I forgot you said "One day you'll walk alone" I said I need you, does that make me wrong? Am I a weak man, are you feeling strong? My heard was blackened, It's bloody red A hole in my heart, a hole in my head? Who will help me up? Where's the helping hand? Will you turn on me? Is this my final stand? In a dream I cannot see Tangled abstract fallacy Random turmoil builds in me I'm addicted to chaos Lights shined on my path, Turn bad days into good Turn breakdowns into blocks, I smashed 'em Cause I could My brain was Labored, My head would spin Don't let me down, don't give up, don't give in The rain comes down, cold wind blows The plans we made are back up on the road Turn up my collar, welcome the unknown Remember that you said "One day you'll walk alone"

There's a time for living Time keeps on flying Think you're loving baby But all your doing is crying Can you feel Are those feelings real Look at your game, girl Look at your game, girl What a mad delusion Living in that confusion Frustration and doubt Can you ever live without the game The sad, sad game Mad game Just to say loves' not enough If it can't be true Oh, you can tell those lies baby but you're only fooling you Can you feel I know those feelings ain't real Then you better stop trying Or you're gonna play crying Stop trying Or you're gonna play crying Stop trying That's the game Sad sad game Mad game Sad game Thanks, Chas Jack

goddamn it where's my fucking osap already.... gotta eat at mcdonalds.. yuck.... anyone wanna buy some cd's?

Hey Fuck... i am looking for a hand to the gentlemen attending Windsor....uh, can you hook me up with some guidance...serious ...

back in town since last night.. saw a very happy lil man glad to see daddy today... actuaslly thinking coming back to this cesspool might actually be a good career move... gotta think of what's important... thinking about doing master's in history at brock or laurier but i doubt it... prety sure i'm done school forever... i have everything i want.. and/or need.

you must live a boring life because i write more thaqn you about nothing and my life is a million miles more interesting even when i'm doing nothing but hanging with freinds... you do remeber what those are right?

in welland now spent the last two weeks in brantford and then st. catherines. god dammit i can't wait to be finished university. got a C in howsam's class and i thought i would fail.. guess that's good... was left alone for xmas and told stop harrassing... that won't be soon forgotten... a few more days and i'm back to school woohoo... can't belive i'm actually looking forward to moving back to welland. later.