My Friend Of Misery

Everything is agian becoming very complicated, there are so many weird Xfactors with my carreer, my part time job to supplement my real job, my formerly supposed infatuation is creating havoc with her mental problems agian, Nikk, you picked a real winner there. nothing like someone wanting to sabotage your career directly. t's not like I ever tryed to do the same when i had the power and the vindictiveness to do so.. no i walk away to let her wallow in her own misery. i thought for once that you would be happy, but of course at this point nothing i do can make you anything but shallow,vindictive and angry. you deal with your own issues i have my own and other's to deal with that are unlike anything in your career and your spoiled old money port dalhousie Disney princess life. i can' belive with the population i deal with in my job that you are creating some of the same issues with our only child. of course there is a reason i am starting to seriously start thinking about joint custody and charging you with parental alienation. i am more in his life than a wallet and someone you continue to play mindgames with. there is no more emotional attachment why can't you understand that every time you attempt to draw me into confrontation? then agian your immature.
there is a reason that there was another girl before you that is way more important to me on a physical, spiritual and emotional level at this point. and she's untouchable too... but at least it gives me hope that there is more to life than my past and the unemotional piece of crap that is and always has treated as nothing more than a disposable sperm dollar and an Atm. whatever, that situtation in itself is both very enlightening and confusing... i wonder at this point where the future goes... at least when i'm speaking to her to her the hurt about the supposedly former infatuation goes away and doesn't hurt so much... even if i am apprehaensive about acting upon feelings and emotions with the other girl because it would complicate things for both of us... when the Thorold Experiment ended i said my last goodbyes to the possibilities of residing in Niagara. going back there now for any reason on a permanent basis would be a step backward.. even how much i care about a person or don't.

Misery
You insist that the weight of the world
Should be on your shoulders
Misery
Theres much more to life than what you see
My friend of misery
Current Mood: Miserable.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number. I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no longer

Fuel Injected Suicide Machine.

Pissing me off is never a good fucking option. I have a life and I don’t need to make fucking sacrifices for anyone if I choose not to. I’m getting real fed up with simply being expected to do and arrange things so someone else can have a fucking escape. This is starting to become a fucking pattern in my life. Some I choose to do for, but others, when I’m starting to notice a fucking pattern? I’m gone. I will always be gone. The fact I have yet to step foot in England when I have a secondary place to stay should speak volumes in terms of this freindship and how it’s no longer even. I’m sick of things only being halfway when I’m trying with certain fucking people and I can bail and close ranks and not give a flying fuck about anyone anymore when I’m not being treated with respect esp. given to mine and my brothers financial situation. I don’t mind making sacrifices but I’m still going to make sure that my main fucking priorities are taken care of. I’m not going to pretend to keep th

Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

Search This Blog