Ah this fucking Day just keeps getting better and better... tell me agian why i am employed and why I want to be a goddamn bleeding heart when the knife is going back and forth into the back.. it's not enough that my fucking child is losing out on a visit today because the pay isn't in yet... there's a good likely hood we won't even get paid today... glad i did not even bother to entertian the thought of going to niagara this morning... that would have ended up as a big ball of failure...i may starve myself waiting on a paycheque but i will never do the same thing to my son.. i am really thinking it is time to reacess priorities.. esp at work... It is unerving to be sacrificing time with my child for the oppurtuinty to help raise other flawed children due to abuse for less than a decent wage.. when i don't feel anything but used lately at work and that was when i was getting shifts and my pay on time... like what the fuck? Bills can't wait.. what the fuck makes the asshole in payroll thing he can drop off the pay whenever the fuck he feels like it? esp. when theres a downturn at work? you know what it smells like to me? someones covering there asses... it will take a lot for me to quit or leave this job but that has more to do with loyalty to my clients than anything else..... right now i am feeling... Burned.
And Yeah it doesn't fucking help that it's almost 6 pm in the evening and there hasn't been an answer to any of my inquiries as to a change in plans... yeah whatever little insanity pills i had left i'd better take... before i fucking lose it on two diffrent sources.
Current mood: Burned, Pissed off at st. catherines.
When I was still a rather precocious young man, I already realized most vividly the futility of the hopes and aspirations that most men pursue throughout their lives.
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