I Needed a reminder Of who I am and what I have accomplished in this short life... even if my life seems like the shits right now i am aware that there is always a bright light at the end of every dark tunnel, i make my own choices and my own decisions and i blame no one for my failures but myself... I fly solo because there is little choice in this life, depending on people is the first thing i learned that lead to failure... i had a good fucking read of essays written 12 years ago today, that anger at a system that is broken and no one seems to notice that it's breaking is returning....i was so much smarter then, wilder maybe still but i miss that young gentleman, i see now thru decisions and the advice of others i have somewhat allowed myself to be tamed, material things and the struggle to maintain a certian lifestyle have changed me, i never planned on being in my thirties, i was gonna leave a good looking corpse. of course then responsibilites i can't ignore hit me like a slap in the face at 28.... a life change.. so much for the thelema and loisue thing with my best gal from college or was it highschool?? i can't remeber which one i was writing about. but anyways... i was planning on a blaze of glory not a growing old a stale when i go... it's time to change my attiude agian.. i should get militant and i should start writing agian... there are injustices in this world that are not fair and there is a darker side to my profession.... i am not becoming bitter but i feel i could be doing more... maybe it's time to harrass the children's advocate agian.
Current Mood: Empowered.
I blame this world for making a good man evil
It's this world that can drive a good man mad
And it's this world that turns a killer into a hero
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