You Never Met A Motherfucker Quite Like Me

It's been one of those days... i am fucking losing it... i am so fucking pissed at the unseen bullshit i am wondering what the fuck was the point exactly to everything i have accomplished in my life.. jesus fucking christ i can't even get a goddamn cheque cashed and have to go downtown to do so... i am wishing sometimes that i hadn't bothered improving my life and getting my shit together... everything i have had as a result of late has turned to shit... i'll tell you this... i never had some goof landlord turning my life into hell when i wasn't working....I just fucked them over with the landlord tribunal.... i should fight him but i don't give a shit... and the whole paycheque thing is nonsense.. i should have more fucking hours.. i went nuts today looking for work.. so pissed off... it's seems like i'm desending into the blackest hole and there is no escape.. i know my darker places and right now i'm in one... you fucking people better look out.... there is only so much rage and pollution one can deal with before one snaps.... my enemies know who they are... i don't want to have resort to the old ways but if that's what it takes to get things back to whatever passes for normal in this fucked up life of mine i'll do it.

Current mood: Pissed.
Current Music: Circus, Britney Spears.

Demoralize the enemy from within by surprise, terror, sabotage, assassination. This is the war of the future.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me. I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period.

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind. I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine. I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy. I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...

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