You Never Met A Motherfucker Quite Like Me

It's been one of those days... i am fucking losing it... i am so fucking pissed at the unseen bullshit i am wondering what the fuck was the point exactly to everything i have accomplished in my life.. jesus fucking christ i can't even get a goddamn cheque cashed and have to go downtown to do so... i am wishing sometimes that i hadn't bothered improving my life and getting my shit together... everything i have had as a result of late has turned to shit... i'll tell you this... i never had some goof landlord turning my life into hell when i wasn't working....I just fucked them over with the landlord tribunal.... i should fight him but i don't give a shit... and the whole paycheque thing is nonsense.. i should have more fucking hours.. i went nuts today looking for work.. so pissed off... it's seems like i'm desending into the blackest hole and there is no escape.. i know my darker places and right now i'm in one... you fucking people better look out.... there is only so much rage and pollution one can deal with before one snaps.... my enemies know who they are... i don't want to have resort to the old ways but if that's what it takes to get things back to whatever passes for normal in this fucked up life of mine i'll do it.

Current mood: Pissed.
Current Music: Circus, Britney Spears.

Demoralize the enemy from within by surprise, terror, sabotage, assassination. This is the war of the future.

Comments

The Laugh Track.

I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you. I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when. Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...

51.

Happy birthday. Hope you are happy and enjoying yourself. I like that we are civil and communicating but i also think you need to take some introspective time and decide the next step. I want you to be happy whether or not I am a part of your life. And i am trying very hard to be. Today, this weekend. I just want to talk to you, hear you laugh..maybe even see you smile. Thats all i want. For you to enjoy your day and hear happy Birthday from me and my son. Thats all you need..to know you are loved. Happy Birthday Baby. You are always loved. No matter what. Unconditional.

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me. I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period.

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