You Never Met A Motherfucker Quite Like Me

It's been one of those days... i am fucking losing it... i am so fucking pissed at the unseen bullshit i am wondering what the fuck was the point exactly to everything i have accomplished in my life.. jesus fucking christ i can't even get a goddamn cheque cashed and have to go downtown to do so... i am wishing sometimes that i hadn't bothered improving my life and getting my shit together... everything i have had as a result of late has turned to shit... i'll tell you this... i never had some goof landlord turning my life into hell when i wasn't working....I just fucked them over with the landlord tribunal.... i should fight him but i don't give a shit... and the whole paycheque thing is nonsense.. i should have more fucking hours.. i went nuts today looking for work.. so pissed off... it's seems like i'm desending into the blackest hole and there is no escape.. i know my darker places and right now i'm in one... you fucking people better look out.... there is only so much rage and pollution one can deal with before one snaps.... my enemies know who they are... i don't want to have resort to the old ways but if that's what it takes to get things back to whatever passes for normal in this fucked up life of mine i'll do it.

Current mood: Pissed.
Current Music: Circus, Britney Spears.

Demoralize the enemy from within by surprise, terror, sabotage, assassination. This is the war of the future.

Comments

Father and Son.

I dont know the next step. I don't claim to. I just know I'm working to rebuild a relationship that has been fractured for many years. That includes both of you. I am here. I will always be here, I have always been here that will never change This weekend was epic and it felt right. I don't know what will happen but i do know that I am at peace with being civil and polite with your mom. It was nice to have a little adventure as a family. It felt right. It what was missing in our lives. Thank you.

The Laugh Track.

I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you. I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when. Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...

The Villian

I've never gave a rats ass about being the bad guy. But I have cared about being a fairweather freind and how I reflect on being a role model to my son. I will walk away from any bad actors or bad relationships that endanger the relationship I am slowly attempting to rebuild. I know I can be a prick. But when you hurt someone I care about, I do not trust you that you may affect those I care about. I burn bridges with gasoline while I'm standing upon them. It wont be the first multiple decade freindship ive demolished, it won't be the last. Im starting to reevaluate a lot of drinking buddies agian to see who is actually something and who I just party with. If I'm obviously moving in a direction thats going to have me ghosting someone whose been around for a minute, so be it. It wont even be the first one this year. I dont look back. And I dont care, if I exclude you from my life, thats an ending that's where its done. I am making choices for my future and its pret...

Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

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