The Unforgiven II

One wonders what the next step will bring... at least as long as she who shall not be named plays ball i'll have little man for the weekend... which will make me happy... of course i might have to sarcifice some time at work but i'm not complaining... there is a reason i'm in St. Catherines trying to have an escape parachute.. i love my job but there has to be more out there for me.. i'm sick of being in a holding pattern, seems like everytime around samhain i tend to be in a holding pattern, just waiting for the next big thing... waiting for the job, or the girl, or the grades.. i am sick of it... i'm even more sick of the fact that as much i think i am making a diffrence and being a role model the more it seems i can't make any improvement it's time for me to start being proactive rather than reactive... for too long i have let the life pass me by without taking action... it's time to start being the person i was ten years ago... angry, passionate, willing to take risks... what the hell do i have to lose... when you have nothing there's nothing to lose...

Current Mood: Determined.

I take this key And I bury it in you
Because you're unforgiven too
Never free Never me
'cause you're unforgiven too

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number. I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no longer

Fuel Injected Suicide Machine.

Pissing me off is never a good fucking option. I have a life and I don’t need to make fucking sacrifices for anyone if I choose not to. I’m getting real fed up with simply being expected to do and arrange things so someone else can have a fucking escape. This is starting to become a fucking pattern in my life. Some I choose to do for, but others, when I’m starting to notice a fucking pattern? I’m gone. I will always be gone. The fact I have yet to step foot in England when I have a secondary place to stay should speak volumes in terms of this freindship and how it’s no longer even. I’m sick of things only being halfway when I’m trying with certain fucking people and I can bail and close ranks and not give a flying fuck about anyone anymore when I’m not being treated with respect esp. given to mine and my brothers financial situation. I don’t mind making sacrifices but I’m still going to make sure that my main fucking priorities are taken care of. I’m not going to pretend to keep th

Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

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