Skip to main content

Stalemate.

It's not so much the waiting that does me in but the fact that day after endless day nothing seems to change and it seems like I am retreating every time just to keep exactly what I have. the world seems to me like a giant ashtray and i can't see past tommorow but I know I have been down before and One day i will be able to overcome this and i will remember it for what it was.. another challenge in a lifetime of challenges... this isn't one i created but it one i will defeat. i can only let her venom sting me as long as i want it to.. one day when this is all said and done their will be a reckoning and it will not come from me.... when i lose hope, when i stare into the void and think that I'm going to embrace the darkness, it pays to remember that.

Current Mood: Angst.
I feel as if I were a piece in a game of chess, when my opponent says of it: That piece cannot be moved

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number.  I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no lon...
Post a Comment
Read more

Forgive, Not Forget.

Things arent what they once were. not with anyone. nothing is taken on faith or trust anymore. Trust and being trustworthy is an absent concept to too many in my life. so instead of caring i think I'll just withdraw and simply not trust anyone. it worked so much simpler for decades of years. every time i let my guard down people fucking disappoint me. so its time for that to stop. I'm pretty sick of peoples petty jealousy's and drama affecting my life. Ill stand alone its what i have always done. i don't mind doing it agian. everything in my life is an adventure. some are just better than others. I've done alone my entire life, i don't need an ensemble cast to be me. and i don't need hangers on, either be my freind or be cast aside. if you're fucking two faced i will eventually find out. Im not playing politics or stupid little drama games with those i actually care about. mere acquaintance even less. I've got no fucking problem standing alone in a s...
Post a Comment
Read more