Another year, At least this time I am more focused than I have been, Stupid distractions weighing me down in the last year.. it has to be only about my goal, it has to be about him, without him i will always have angry dark red burning in my soul an emptiness that is as if something has been taken away, I am used to this war, it hasn't ended, not for almost ten years...what little happiness i can find right now has always been tainted because of something missing and it's time for that to be my only persuit, while i may have interesting things in my life, sometimes those things also cause me anger and annoyance, and sometimes people I should not be involved with get selfish and jealous, you'd think i'd be a better judge of character, I was a much angrier much better person when I held the world at bay and let my temper and my anger and my emotions control me... maybe it's time to go back to that... may i should just let the fire inside become the main part of me and go forward this year and use that anger, the hate, the darkness in all of the parts of my being as the fuel i need to survive, the fuel I need to win this war... It's only been ten years, it will not be twenty. No more distractions, NO more people i thought were my freinds stabbing me in the back for an advantage... I don't do power struggles I never have, and one thing that will never happen agian is some other person thinking she has power over me, girlfreind, wife,roommate or landlord... i am my own person and one thing i have always been is an agent of choas, it's time to show more of that side of my personailty agian, it's time to do some damage.. it's time to use the darkest parts of me to fight for the brightest spot... that's all that fucking matters now.
Current Mood: Angry.
"War." Gorgon spits the word. "That is what they call it to give the illusion of honor and law. It is chaos. Madness and blood and the hunger to win. It has always been thus and shall always be so.
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