The Great Darkness Saga II

Still not having a lot of fucking patience with the situation and the more i get bothered about money that doesn't exist yet is the more i start thinking about moving on from this clusterfuck. this fucking ass clown just doesn't get that part of the problem with the old place was the choice to choice to use my house for storage, and now he can't find fucking shit he moved to my house? one day i might just lock the door and make all of his shit disappear, just like the stuff of mine he took to his place apparently did.. i swear i like the money but I don't need half of the fucking stress, and it's completely frustrating that he just doesn't care about anything that doesn't belong to him, just money.. it seems like this is the type of person i attract, it's frustrating that i can find opportunities in my life but they always constantly turn into clusterfucks and end up affecting me personally. maybe it's time to go back to being angry and mean and not caring, if other people don't give a damn it's time for me to do exactly the same... no more being honest or being fair... it's time to be the dirtball i know i can be... I'm sick of the selfishness surrounding me.

Current Mood: Frustrated.
Current Music: Eminem, Rap God.
What do you despise? By this are you truly known.

Comments

The Laugh Track.

I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you. I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when. Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...

Father and Son.

I dont know the next step. I don't claim to. I just know I'm working to rebuild a relationship that has been fractured for many years. That includes both of you. I am here. I will always be here, I have always been here that will never change This weekend was epic and it felt right. I don't know what will happen but i do know that I am at peace with being civil and polite with your mom. It was nice to have a little adventure as a family. It felt right. It what was missing in our lives. Thank you.

The Trees.

I am really bothered by someone hurting my tree. I’m not sure the next step but that’s a living thing. I know that there is no healing when our things are still affected negatively by people. I’m not sure what the next step is but I know this is part and parcel of the entire thing and that we can’t heal when people hurt the things we care about. I don’t have much but I do have a legacy to protect and there is a place where my son needs to feel safe, and I don’t think it will ever be that house agian. But once it was home, there are good memories there. There was love. Part of that is the peace that was our tree. I’m sick of people damaging the things I love. The world needs to be better and less selfish. I need peace in mine and her lives. Even if we are separate in our lives. She needs the peace and quiet I have in my life. Even more than I do. And only one of us has it.

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